Life Altering!
by RJ Wyatt
Summary: What if, AU... Justin had walked passed Ethan in 220 choosing to leave both men behind. Will Brian be able to accept the changes in Justin life as Justin struggles when his world is tilted on it's axis, altering his entire life! Warnings! Minor Character Death, AU, What if, Parenthood!
1. Chapter 1

**Life Altering**

**Chapter One**

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Justin watched as Brian literally fucked himself, the pain nearly crushing him. For the last few months, Justin had been swayed Ethan's pretty little words and sweet nothings, but in the end they didn't create anywhere near the intense emotions he felt for Brian. Justin knew this was the final straw. He wouldn't be welcomed home tonight, but he wasn't going to let himself be pushed into a relationship with a man for whom he didn't feel a fraction of what he felt for Brian.

Justin turned around slowly, refusing to meet Michael's regretful eyes or everyone else's curious expressions. He brushed past Ethan, his mind turning ignoring him as the man called after him and followed him out of Babylon.

"Justin" Ethan's voice finally reached his ears as Justin stood on the sidewalk, letting the fresh air wash over him.

"Ethan" Justin said, his voice tight, almost angry.

"I was practising Beethoven and it sounded like shit. I realized it was entirely your fault" Ethan began. Justin fought the urge to roll his eyes. Brian's most recent shove off Mount Kinney had abruptly brought him to his senses, leaving

"Ethan, that's bullshit" Justin said, shooting down Ethan's cheesy romantic notions, his voice harsher than he would have liked. With a sigh trying to tamper down his emotions, he watched as Ethan took a rather forceful step forward, obviously hurt.

"I'm just going to take a leaping guess that you've made your final decision" Ethan snarled, his voice rough as he took a step into Justin's personal space. You know he'll never love you; you'll always be Brian Kinney's personal whore."

"Shut the fuck up" Justin snapped, his eyes narrowing in anger. Ethan grabbed his shoulder, yanking Justin forward, surprising the blond. "Let go" Justion said, ignoring the pain as his back hit the wall of Babylon.

"I loved you; we would have been good together" Ethan hiss

"Why would I settle for good, when I already had great?" Justin questioned, his eyes blazing with the truth of that statement. " I let myself be clouded by a wave of romantic notions that were all bullshit; love doesn't slam you against a wall when it's angry. That I do know."

Justin felt himself being pulled forward and shoved against the wall a second time; this time his head connecting with the wall. "Brian can't even ask you to stay; he doesn't care where you are or if you're okay as long as you make it home in time for the final fuck of the night."

Justin knee-jerked Ethan in the crotch before pushing him with all his strength, sending the fiddler to the ground. "You don't know shit. Stay the fuck away from me or you'll regret ever knowing me. Goodbye Ethan!"  
Justin watched as Ethan finally left. The relief washed over him as he found his way to a cheap hotel a few blocks from Babylon.

Justin sat and blindly watched an info commercial, trying to think of what he would do next. He could move home, or to Debbie's, or hell even Daphne's, but none of those options seemed pleasing.

He knew he was financially stable thanks to his penny pinching ways. A part of him was always afraid of being homeless, especially after he had run off to New York City with Brian's credit card. After paying Brian back every cent, he hadn't spent a dime of what he earned at the diner unless he was using what little Brian called contributing, groceries, hygenie products for himself and his phone bill.

Justin rolled over and finally drifted off to sleep, only to awake in terror with his gimp hand throbbing. He made his way to the dollar store to buy a plain white t-shirt so he wouldn't show up at work wearing what he had on last night.

Justin spotted Brian and the gang in their typical booth. Brian looked polished and normal; an amused smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. It took everything Justin had to place the small smile on his face as he entered the diner.

The routine was normal; he kept his head down and stayed away from the gang. It didn't take long for him to realize they were rallying around Brian. After all, he was the cheater.

The fifteen hour shift was long, and after the stress of the past few months, he felt drained. It wasn't until he was standing outside the diner that he realized he didn't have a place to go. He made his way back to the cheap motel.

Instead of watching crappy television, he found the pen and small notebook that motels usually provide, and used them to make a plan. Justin couldn't stand the thought of being around the gang, hearing the whispering, the hateful words, or seeing Brian looking so normal as though it didn't matter that Justin was no longer a partof his life.

Tomorrow he would start his search for a place to sleep, and a new way to earn money.


	2. Chapter 2

**Life Altering!**

**Chapter Two**

First thing the next morning, Justin was up and dressed and at his mother's house before seven a.m. He waited patiently on her couch for her to roll out of bed and head downstairs to start breakfast for his little sister. If anyone could help him locate an affordable place to live it was his mom.

At the sound of her light footsteps, his head shot up. "Wow" Justin said. Jennifer's pregnancy was really starting to show.

"Justin" his mother spoke, clearly surprised to see her son so early in the morning. She hid her swollen stomach with her robe.

"Hi, Mom" Justin replied cheerily. He Followed Jennifer into the kitchen and watched as she put on the coffee. "So, have you found out the sex yet?"

"Last Friday. I called you twice and left a voicemail but you never called me back." Jennifer answered, her eyebrow raised in annoyance at her son for not returning her phone calls. "You're having a brother."

Justin smiled; it had taken some time for him to accept Jennifer's pregnancy, and look forward to the newest addition to his family. Justin developed a deeper respect for his mother, who had the strength to enter into a new relationship with a young man. He courted her and treated her well. Nevertheless, Justin had been slow to warm up to his mother's relationship with Tucker. Tucker had seemed like a relatively decent man, until he had met someone closer to his own age and immediately fell hard for her. He accepted a prestigious teaching position in New Zealand, cutting all ties to Pittsburg. This left Jennifer shattered and stunned, then totally shocked when she discovered that she was pregnant. Yes, Justin was a little in awe of his mother's strength, as she managed to pull herself together, and was now treating this surprise pregnancy as a mid-life gift.

"That's awesome" Justin said, looking up from his warm cup of coffee. Jennifer could clearly see that not all was right with her son.  
The two blonds sipped their morning coffee as Jennifer waited for Justin to explain why he'd dropped by so early in the morning.  
"I need your help finding an affordable place to live. I want to be on my own" Justin said, sitting down at the kitchen table with his coffee.

"What about Brian?" Jennifer asked in shock.

"We broke up" Justin answered slowly, not wanting to explain further had how he had screwed up. There are just some things you don't want to explain to your mother.

"I'm so sorry " Jennifer supplied, wrapping him into a warm hug. "You're welcome to stay here until we find you something."

"Thank you mom" Justin said, his head downcast.

The next few weeks passed slowly. Justin worked hard at the diner while applying for jobs at higher-end restaurants that paid more, with the potential for better tips. His mom found him a nice, small, one bedroom apartment a few blocks from the college campus.

The day Mike's Steakhouse offered him a job, Justin turned in his two week notice to Kiki, and asked the kind waitress to keep it quiet. Justin's last day at the diner, had finally arrived and he wasn't sure if he was relieved or sad. He'd somehow managed to avoid having a conversation with Brian since the Rage party.

The rest of the gang had mixed reactions to their split. Everyone assumed that he was living happily ever after with the fiddler, with whom he'd been seen leaving Babylon on the night of the Rage party. It took everything that Justin had not to snort when he heard the rumors, yet he was unwilling to deny them.

It seemed that Brian hadn't missed him over the past few weeks. This made Justin feel that he wasn't worth fighting for, or even worthy of a backward glance. As his thoughts grew darker, the smile slipped from his face. He watched the gang laughing while waiting for Emmett to join them for a night out. Justin couldn't believe how much his life had changed in the past few weeks, how much he regretted getting sucked into romance. It had cost him everything.

"Hey Sunshine" Emmett's voice broke through the cloud of thoughts currently tormenting him.

"Hey Em" Justin said, placing a smile firmly on his face.

"How are you doing honey?" Emmett asked cautiously. Worry laced his normally happy face as his eyes drifted to where Justin was holding his hurt hand tightly to his chest.

"I'm good Em. My hand's aching - it's been a long day" Justin answered, reassuring his longtime friend. " It looks like the gang is waiting for you" Justin said with an easy smile before taking off his apron and placing it under the counter.

Kiki walked up as soon as he stepped back out of the kitchen after clocking out. "Hey kid."

"Hey Kiki!" Justin said with affection. He was completely surprised when she wrapped her arms around him.

"We sure are going to miss you" she said, wiping a tear off her cheek.

"I'll miss you too" Justin said while taking note that Brian was paying extra special attention to their conversation.

"I kept my promise; I haven't told Debbie yet and that wasn't easy." Kiki reassured him.

"Thank you" Justin said, a wide grin spreading across his face.

Justin didn't make it five steps outside the diner before a familiar voice stopped him in his tracks.

"Justin" Brian's silky voice stopped his target cold. Concern shot through him as he watched Justin cradle his hand to his chest.

"Brian" Justin's voice sounded much calmer than he felt.

"When are you going to get your stuff from the loft?" Brian questioned. His tone was light, almost uncaring, but his eyes were clearly worried that something was off.

"Oh" Justin said, surprise evident. He hadn't even thought about it. "Soon I guess"

"I have most of it packed, do you just want me to bring it to Ian's?" Brian questioned, prying.

"No need, I'll get it tomorrow." Justin mumbled, his eyes taking in Brian's beautiful form.

"Okay" Brian said holding back a smirk. So everything wasn't happy in Pleasantville. Maybe he still had a shot; he just needed to hold out a little longer.

"Bye Brian" Justin said, before practically fleeing. He wanted nothing more than to turn around and beg the man to forgive him for being an utter fool.


	3. Chapter 3

**Life Altering!**

**Chapter Three**

It took Brian a few days to piece together the fact that Justin no longer worked at the diner. At first he was relieved, but as life started to fall back into a routine , Brian found himself missing the twink that he had twisted, bended and broken his rules for.

It had now been a full month since Justin stopped by his loft and removed all traces of himself from Brian's life.

"Has anyone seen Sunshine lately?" Brian asked lightly, taking a sip of beer while watching Michael and Emmett play pool.

"I chatted with Justin on Sunday. We had a wonderful discussion about that new gay television show," Emmett supplied with a knowing smile.

"Next time you two chat," Brian spat out the word chat. "tell Mr. Sunshine I need to talk with him personally about an arrangement we have." Brian said blandly, schooling his features to appear almost bored. Underneath his calm exterior he was rather proud of himself that the excuse was a perfect way to keep in contact and with Justin.

"No problem, sweet tart." Emmett said, grinning cheekily at Brian.

Justin entered his apartment, tossing his messenger bag by the front door and placing his latest finished piece on the kitchen counter. He picked up his forgotten cell phone and noticed it was blinking, signaling two missed calls - from Daphne and Emmett. At least there wasn't one from his mother; she always became upset with him for his bad habit of forgetting his phone.

Justin sighed, wondering what Emmett wanted; he was the only person from Brian's group of friends who refused to let him fade into the background.

Justin's life at the moment was hectic with finals, work and helping his mom prepare for the baby. He found he had little time to dwell on Brian, but when he did, he missed him with a fierceness that tore at his soul. Justin had learned the hard way that no matter how much you love someone, you can't make them love you back the way you want them to; that cheating wasn't going to fill the void he had created in his own heart.

It was his first Friday night off since he started his new job at the steakhouse and he decided that he might as well go out and enjoy himself.

He changed into the pair of old black jeans and an even older light blue fitted tee shirt that Daphne swore time and time again was made just for him. Picking up his cell phone he texted his lifelong best friend "Going to Babylon, wanna cum?"

"Dirty Justin! Be there in thirty or so." Daphne replied in a flash.

As Justin lounged around his apartment waiting for Daphne, a part of him was a ball of nervous excitement ready to finally go out and cut loose. The first month of living on his own was a shock to the young man; the lights and sounds at night startled him. His nightmares had increased but he was learning to cope.

By the end of the month he was able to turn off almost all the lights in his place and the nightmares had slowly decreased. Justin was struggling over his decision to figure out what he wanted. He did know that he needed his distance from Brian to de-cloud his head. He loved him, wanted him and missed him but he knew Brian wasn't ready to admit he wanted Justin in his life as a permanent figure, something Justin knew he couldn't live with again.  
A light knock on the door startled Justin out of his thoughts. As he glanced through the peephole a sunshine smile graced his face and he pulled the door open to reveal a smoking Daphne.

"Let's go J, you promised me dancing and an excellent evening out." Daphne said, throwing her arms over Justin's shoulder as they stood outside Babylon.

"Sure I did." Justin said with a teasing smile as he led her through the doors letting the thumpa thumpa wash over him. There was something about stepping through the doors of Babylon that seemed to wash away all of Justin's worries and stresses. He didn't need the tricks or blow jobs, just a few good dance partners and a little liquor to cut loose.

With Daphne's hand in his they made their way to the dance floor. It didn't take Justin long to lose himself in the music. They spent the next hour dancing, Justin never noticing the pair of hazel eyes that refused to look away from the duo.

"Let's go Daph." Justin said, interrupting Daphne's interesting conversation with a group of lesbian women who seemed to be in awe of her sweet nature and sassy wit.

"Hold on Justin." Daphne said, shushing her best friend. She was having a blast talking with the young couple. "Go get us water; I'll be along in a minute."

Justin sat at the bar, sipping jack and coke as he watched his best friend flirt with the crowd around her. It was an amusing sight to behold.

"Sunshine!" Emmett squealed hugging the blond tightly, having not seen the teen since his last day at the diner. "How have you been sugar? Are you here with any of these gorgeous young morsels? Oh baby! I have missed you, and the gang just isn't the same. What brings you to Babylon this fine evening?" Emmett gushed as soon as he let go.

"I've been good Em, love my new job." Justin said pausing, trying to remember all the questions Emmett had asked. "I'm here with Daphne to celebrate my first Friday off."

"Come dance with me honey-bottom, Daphne is currently neglecting her duties and it's up to me to fill in. So dance we must." Emmett said motioning for Sunshine to follow him.

Hazel eyes grew darker with jealously as Emmett's hand lowered a little too far. Too many question popping up and not enough answers made Kinney a frustrated man. Why was Justin here alone? Where was the fiddler? Didn't the fiddler know that Babylon wasn't the safest place for someone as hot as Justin?

Brian tried to convince himself that the only reason he wouldn't take his eyes off Justin was for the blond boy's safety. He ignored the aching feeling as he watched Justin collect Daphne from her group of admirers and exit Babylon.

"You do realize, Justin, that Brian Kinney never took his eyes off you the entire time you where on the dance floor," Daphne said with a giggle. It was apparent that the young woman was a three sheets to the wind.

"He didn't?" The thought of Brian's eyes on him sent a thrill down his spine and lit ignited a small spark of hope that just maybe Brian missed him too.


	4. Chapter 4

**Life Altering!**

**Chapter Four**

At the beginning of summer break Justin doubled his shifts at Mike's Steakhouse so he'd be able to hand over a payment to Brian for his college tuition.

As Justin drove to Daphne's, he was thinking about how Jennifer had managed to surprise him by giving him her old Ford Taurus as a celebration gift for finishing his first year of college.

"I can't believe you suckered me into helping your sorry ass." Daphne grumbled, taking a sip of the coffee that Justin handed her as soon as she buckled her seat belt.

"The paint should be dry." Justin said, ignoring his grouchy friend. She had spent yesterday helping him finish painting the nursery. They were trying to complete it before his mother returned from her trip with Molly.

Much to Daphne's dismay, the paint was dry and the room was ready to be assembled.

After two failed attempts, they finished assembling the crib and now lay in the middle of the room resting. Daphne finally asked the question she had put off for months. "It doesn't bother you that you're going to be a big brother at twenty, that your mom's having another child? I mean, you've been completely calm about it, which I hate to say J is so, so unlike you."

"It did bother me at first A LOT, it was just so weird." Justin admitted, fiddling with receiving blankets as he organized them. "The thought of my mom having another baby but I couldn't freak out on her. It's strange Daphne, but my mom needs me to be okay. Then after a while, the weirdness went away and now I'm looking forward to meeting the little guy."

"I'll hang the curtains and put the final touches on the crib, while you put away all of the tiny little necessities." Daphne said, surprised at how her friend had matured without her noticing.

"Then we need to be going, I have to meet Brian at the diner." Justin stated wearily.

"What for?" Daphne asked curiously, since Justin rarely mentioned Brian anymore.

"He wants to discuss the college arrangement we made." Justin answered with a shrug, not really knowing why. He'd received a short voicemail from Brian asking to meet him at the diner.

It didn't take the two lifelong friends more than a few minutes to put the final touches on the nursery.

Justin dropped Daphne off at her apartment, slipping her the fifty bucks into her purse he had promised her for helping him. Knowing she wouldn't accept the money outright.

Making his was to Liberty Avenue, his hand shook a little from nerves. Dread and delight spread through him at the sight of Brian seated in a booth, patiently waiting for him.

Justin picked up the portfolio containing his grades and final projects, which Brian had requested him to bring. Taking a minute to collect his thoughts, Justin squared his shoulders before entering the diner. He moved towards Brian's booth sliding in unnoticed by the other patrons of the small diner; and patiently waited for Brian to end his phone call.

"Justin" Brian greeted softly, letting the name roll off his lips.

"Brian" Justin responded with a tight nervous smile.

"How were your finals?" Brian questioned, keeping up the front he had created, while his eyes did a firm sweep over Justin. He noticed how the summer sun had made Justin's hair blonder and his skin a little darker. He also sported a new haircit that made him look older.

"Fine" Justin answered, feeling awkward. Justin knew he was still suffering from the guilt he had caused by cheating on Brian.

"How is..." Justin cut himself off not sure what to say, which caused Brian's lips to twitch in amusement at his awkwardness. "I completed everything ahead of schedule; my drawling class was difficult but I was surprised when I passed and did so well." Justin rambled in the silence as Brian flicked through Justin's artwork.

Brian nodded respectfully. For the first time in three months everything felt right, as Justin continued to ramble on about school. He hated the lingering pain that would wash over when he remembered that he was no longer a regular figure in Justin's life. Why in the world had he pushed the teen away in the first place?

"What are you thinking of taking next semester?" Brian asked, one eyebrow rising in curiosity.

"I haven't decided, but I really would like to take a life drawling class" Justin answered. Brian found that he enjoyed watching the joy in Justin's eyes as he talked over his artwork and possible classes.

"After you decide what classes you'll be taking, drop the bill by the loft." Brian said. He shot Justin a proud smile over his grades and finals.

"You don't need to pay; I'll take out a real school loan." Justin answered, shocking the older man still for a second.

"What, your new boyfriend doesn't want you accepting money from your ex?" Brian spat, feeling his temper rise. There was no way that the little twat of a fiddle player was going to interfere with Justin's education, not over Brian's dead body.

"What boyfriend?" Justin snapped back, taking in Brian's surprised features, but he looked away, missing the spark of delight that the news brought Brian. "I just don't feel comfortable…"

Brian cut Justin off before he could finish his sentences "We had a deal and it doesn't matter to me how uncomfortable you are now. Just because we don't fuck anymore doesn't mean I won't pay for your education as long as you keep your grades up. You'll pay me back once you graduate." Brian seethed. Few things in his life were a priority, but somewhere along the line Justin's education had become important to the older man. He really did want to watch Justin become the best homosexual he could be, and a proper education was important.

Justin nodded, giving Brian a sunshine smile in relief. "I'll know in a few weeks." Justin said, knowing better than to say anything sentimental when Brian was being defensive.

Justin stood and placed a yellow envelope on the table with a thousand dollars and a piece of paper showing the current amount Justin owed Brian minus the thousand dollars, and a small handmade thank you card attached with a portrait of Gus and Brian in the park.


	5. Chapter 5

**Life Altering!**

**Chapter Five**

Brian glared at any of his friends who tried approaching him. He had been patiently waiting, biding his time for Justin to eventually make his way back to him.

Opening the envelope had stung. It was clear that Justin was trying to break the final tie to Brian. They had an agreement that Brian would pay for Justin's education, and only after Justin graduated with a solid income would he begin to repay Brian. He shoved the check back into the envelope. His glare softened at the sight of the handmade thank you note and portrait of father and son.

Brian was suddenly scared that maybe he had misjudged the situation. He was convinced once Justin had his fill of romantic bullshit and Ian finally showed what a douchebag he really was, that Justin would come back with his head held high and some life experience under his belt, ready to take what Brian had to offer.

It now appeared that Justin had tossed that scenario out the fucking window. Brian needed to do something to ensure that he wouldn't lose the one person who had unknowingly became very dear to his sheltered heart.

Brian slammed the diner door behind him and drove across town, Brian put the check in Justin's mother's mail box, writing the word "Denied" across the check. It was childish and immature but it was a move that would make Justin contact him. He put the check back into the envelope, crossed out his name and replaced it with Justin's.

**o-o-o**

Justin grinned as his mother and sister recalled funny stories from their trip to the beach.

"Mom had to stop and use the restroom every hour on the drive home - she even had to pee on the side of the road. " Molly stated with a giggle, finding her mother's pregnancy discomforts humorous.

"That's so gross Mollusk." Justin said making a disgusted face, only to send his little sister into another fit of laughter.

"I know, I know. Could you ask Mom if we can have pizza tonight?" Molly asked hopefully, tossing her brother a pleading look that he hardly ever denied.

"Already on it Molls, pepperoni and sausage right?" Justin asked and received a positive nod.

"You're the best," Molly sang as she ran up the stairs to her teenage sanctuary.

"Justin, this was in the mailbox," Jennifer said, handing over a yellow envelope.

Justin rolled his eyes as he opened the envelope, knowing instinctively whom it was from; denied was written across the check he had handed to Brian earlier that day.

"What is it?" Jennifer asked curiously, knowing that only one person in Justin's life could cause the sudden emotions that were currently displayed across his face.

"Brian denied my check." Justin replied with a frown on his face; he would be calling him Brian later when he was in the privacy of his own home.

"What does that mean?" Jennifer questioned casually, never really knowing exactly how Brian and Justin worked, just that in the long run he made her baby boy happier than he had ever been.

"I have no idea, but I'll find out." Justin said, dropping the subject.

The family of three - soon to be four - ate dinner together while playing a quick game of clue.

"Mom, I have a surprise for you," Justin announced while Molly was putting the game away.

"Oh honey you know how I hate surprises. I hope you didn't waste any of your hard earned money." Jennifer fussed, while letting her curiosity get the better of her.

"Just follow me." Justin said leading her up the staircase, giving Jennifer time to wonder when her children had grown up. Molly and Justin had managed to play an entire game without name-calling or becoming annoyed with each other and it was obvious that they had grown closer in the last year.

Jennifer shot her son a confused smile as they stopped in front of the guest room. "Just go in," Justin said, opening the door and stepping aside, letting his mother take in the view of the finished nursery.

"Oh Justin, it's just beautiful. Did you do all of this?" Jennifer gushed, standing in the middle of the nursery.

"Daphne helped. I painted the ocean scene and sunrise this week while you girls were gone, and we finished this afternoon with the furniture. I didn't want my little brother to come home to just any ordinary room." Justin said gently, his sunshine smile working in high gear.

**O-O-O **

Justin entered his apartment, placing his keys on the small hook by the door before turning on the light in the kitchen. He took out his phone and dialed the familiar number. While he waited for Brian to answer he opened himself a beer.

"Hello" Brian's voiced drifted over the line, grabbing Justin's complete attention.

"Brian" Justin stated calmly, before asking "Why was my check denied?"

"Because that wasn't part of our arrangement. Set it aside in case you need anything. You can pay me back as soon as you graduate and have a reliable income" Brian stated as he typed his upcoming presentation for Nike.

Justin felt the speech he had at the tip of his tongue slip away as it registered that Brian was still trying to care for him in his own unique way, even after all the hurt Justin had recently put the man through. It made his heart race.

"Okay" Justin murmured.

"So what has Sunshine been up to lately?" Brian questioned, not wanting the younger man to hang up. Not that Brian Kinney would ever admit to such things.

"I helped my mother over the weekend and I've been working a lot." Justin answered, aware that he was being sucked into the Kinney charm. "And you?"

"I'm currently working on a Nike presentation." Brian answered, and as Justin held the phone closer to his ear sure enough he could hear the clicking of Brian's fingers gently typing away. "Just do it!" Brian said with a snort at the old slogan.

"I thought you came up with that," Justin teased, knowing Brian's motto as he lay down on his sofa waiting for Brian's response.

"Before my time Sunshine," Brian answered smiling, as they continued to banter back forth for the next hour. Conversation flowed easily between the two, as if the past few months hadn't happened.

"Want to go for drinks next Friday at Timberline?" Brian suggested as their conversation was drawling to a close, completely unaware that he had asked Justin on their first date.

"Sure," Justin answered after a brief pause.

"Pick you up at seven," Brian offered, anticipation settling at the bottom of his stomach, not caring how much it sounded like a date.

"Okay," Justin agreed.

"Later," Brian said, hanging up as soon as he heard Justin return the parting words.


	6. Chapter 6

**Life Altering!**

**Chapter Six**

Brian spent the last hour grooming and polishing himself. He wanted to make Justin want him. By the end of the night it was Brian's plan to have the blue eyed beauty back in his bed for the evening, if not permanently.

Across town, Justin pulled on a cream sweater and casual jeans along with a pair of comfortable shoes. It wasn't that Justin wasn't excited about the prospect of a date with Brian, something he'd never had. Justin always enjoyed his time spent in Brian's company, but his heart was still heavy with mixed emotions. It was the gut feeling that in the end this wouldn't change anything. Maybe it was the extra shifts at work, or the stress of being on his own but Justin knew in the end the facts where the same as they were months ago.

He, Justin Taylor, simply wanted more than Brian Kinney was willing to give and he no longer could hang on hoping for more, only to be let down again and again. It would only lead to more heartbreak and pain, something Justin refused to go through again.

Justin glanced at his alarm clock. Any minute Brian should call, once he realized he had no clue where the teenager lived. Justin breathed deeply and sipped a beer while waiting for the phone to ring.

"Right on schedule Mr. Kinney," Justin breathed into the phone.

"Justin where the hell do you live?" Brian swore in annoyance.

Justin tensed at the question, a huge part of him wanting to keep the information to himself. It was a small defense intended to keep Brian at a distance, a distance that was needed to keep from being pulled into Brian's intoxicating presence and falling into old patterns. Justin needed to be cautious. He was finally finding a peace, a simple happiness that wasn't based on Brian's opinion or his father's approval.

"I'll meet you at my mother's." Justin said in a tone that Brian knew wasn't to be pushed. "Alright, I'll be there in ten" Brian agreed, running a hand through his hair.

"See you in a few Brian," Justin said hanging up and heading to his old tan ford Taurus.

On the short drive to his mother's Justin could feel the tension in his gimp hand, and if he wasn't careful it would lead to painful spasms and a tension headache. Justin parked the car and entered the house, greeting his mother with a gentle kiss on the cheek. "How are you today?" he asked.

Jennifer Taylor was amazed at how much her son had changed over the course of the last year. He no longer resembled a teenager, but a respectful caring man. "I'm fine, counting down the days now. What are you doing here tonight?"

"I just came by to use your driveway. I'm having dinner with Brian tonight. Do you have plans?" Justin asked.

"Hmm Brian! That's nice sweetie." Jennifer stated. "I might go to the grocery store for a carton of ice-cream later and rent a movie. I don't think he'll be making his appearance anytime soon." Jennifer said patting her swollen belly with a disgruntled groan.

"Just call if you do go into labor alright? I'll be at the hospital in a flash." Justin said giving his mother a reassuring grin. Justin couldn't wait for his brother to be born, he was a little nervous having agreed to be the Lamaze coach.

"Justin, have you decided on a name yet?" Jennifer questioned for what seemed like the millionth time since she decided that Justin should have the honor of naming his baby brother.

At the sound of Brian's jeep in the drive Justin bolted, dodging the question with an "I'm working on it. Love you Mom." Justin stepped out the door a gentle smile gracing his face. He hit the lock button twice on his keychain before hopping in with Brian, who tossed him a flirtaous smile.

"Sunshine," Brian greeted with his customary quick grin that caused Justin's heart to speed up and a wide sunshine smile to blossom.

"So where are we going?" Justin questioned as Brian pulled out onto the road. Brian couldn't help but grin as Justin's eyes lingered on his body.

Brian didn't hesitate when he answered simply as if it were no big deal "Timberbrook". Brian smirked at Justin's intake of breath. They headed across town, it was at least a forty minute commute.

"That place is expensive," Justin exclaimed. "I'm not really dressed for it."

"You look fine, trust me." Brian reassured as he raked his eyes over Justin beautiful body.

"If you say so," Justin said with a grin, wishing he had taken a little more time getting ready.

The rest of the ride to the upscale steakhouse was spent in comfortable silence as Justin relaxed and hummed along to the radio, causing Brian to laugh when the younger man burst out jamming to Highway to Hell. Some things still surprised the older man about his young lover.

"We have a sixty-five minute wait," the hostess greeted the pair.

"Kinney for two," Brian stated, not impressed.

"Mr. Kinney," The manager said stepping up to shake Brian's hand. "Julia," The manager said dismissing the hostess.

"Thomas," Brian greeted warmly.

"Business tonight?" The manager questioned as he led the two men to Brian's customary table.

"Personal," Brian answered. "Thomas this is Justin. Justin this is Thomas - we went to college together."

"Nice to meet you sir." Justin said, his wasp upbringing flaring to life as he greeted the man.

"Brian, Justin, enjoy your meal and let me know if I can do anything for you." Thomas said as he setted the two men. "Your usual?" He questioned towards Brian.

"A bottle of my usual Thomas would be nice. A water Justin?" Brian asked, looking forward to his favorite wine which was not widely available.

"Please" Justin responded a with a slight nod in agreement.

"How is work going?" Justin questioned curiously as they waited for the wine. He didn't notice that Brian's eyes flashed with concern as Justin continued to massage his hand and wrist.

"I landed the Faulkner account and finished up Nike for this quarter today, an entire two weeks early." Brian answered with a proud smile.

Justin smiled fondly.

"How is..." Brian faltered not sure what to ask.

"I work at a bluecollar steak house. It's good money, and I make great tips. I'm settling on what to take for the fall semester. I'm finishing up my college algebra and biology course for the summer in two weeks. I've made a couple of great friends. You were right about college, it's completely different than high school." Justin supplied with ease.

The rest of the meal went peacefully. It wasn't until Brian pulled Justin into a hungry kiss that the air between them tensed.

"Brian stop." Justin said, pushing against him, separating their lips.

"Jesus Justin, what the fuck is the problem?" Brian hissed, his eyes flashing with annoyance.

Brian's lips attacked his ear and neck. "Brian stop!" Justin snarled, shoving the older man away with every ounce of will power he had. He wanted nothing more than to let it continue, but his heart and his mind screamed at him to stop this before he did something he'd regret in the morning.

"Justin," Brian snapped in surprise.

"I'm not doing this anymore." Justin stated calmly but with an air of anger. "I love you! But I am done hanging on, wishing and dreaming for something more with you. Tonight is typical you. Take poor little Justin out, sugar him with a few nice words and he'll jump right back into bed with you. That was your plan wasn't it?"

Justin took in Brian's guilty expression and swore, blinking away the tears that had formed. He took a deep breath, waiting for Brian to say something, but he knew it he'd get nothing from the pinched angry look Brian now wore.

"Why am I not surprised. I'm such a fucking idiot for not seeing it sooner. Brian Kinney never has anything to say when it comes to the important emotional shit. I can't believe I'm still waiting for you to show something, say something. Are you calling my bluff to see how long your old fuck will wait for you? Jesus Brian your time is running out." Justin growled his blue eyes flashing intensely as his head exploded with pain.

"Justin stop," Brian lashed out gently trapping the younger man between himself and the jeep , not giving him a chance to flee.

"You didn't even think I was worth a backward glance. I wasn't worth being asked to stay." Justin yelled all the pent-up hurt and anger lashing out finally, after months of silence.

"In spite of all your 'I love you's', you didn't bat an eyelash at breaking your own fucking rules." Brian's hazel eyes darkened in anger. "Falling for romantic bullshit and pretty words - who was I to stop you?" Brian demanded.

"I'm sorry for falling for pretty words that I learned don't mean shit unless they're coming from you; that romance isn't worth anything unless the person you're experiencing it with is someone you cherish." Justin stated "I'm sorry for wanting candlelight, and picnics and needing to be worth more than a regular fuck. I'm sorry I grew up and wanted more than you are willing to offer. I haven't given up on you but I can't jump back into bed with you Brian, not right now; not until you can admit openly that you care about me and want me around." Justin ended with a pant, his eyes exposed to Brian who could read all the hope, hurt, anger, passion and want in those baby blues.

Brian kissed him deeply one last time, his eyes open, using the easiest method he knew of communication; showing Justin in Brian Kinney speak that he did want the man and that he had missed him.

"Come on let's get you back to your mommy." Brian said letting go of Justin,who had a slightly dazzled look on his face, and that smile that made Brian's heart miss a beat and caused his cock to harden.

Justin nodded as he climbed into the jeep. His mind was wrapped around the last kiss that left him dazed. A small ounce of hope spread like a wildfire throughout his body as he looked out the window of the jeep and watched the storm that had been threatening finally let loose.

**O-O**

Due to the storm it took over and hour to reach Justin's mother's house. Neither spoke as Justin climbed out of the jeep. It wasn't until Justin was headed inside that Brian called out the window. "Later Justin."

"Later," Justin answered back a little sadly, unsure of the future with the older man, but still longing for one.

As Justin entered his mother's to grab his jacket his cell rang. "Hello," Justin said answering the phone wearily.

"Hello. Justin Taylor?" A friendly yet formal voice greet his ears.

"Justin speaking."

"This is Anna Shel, a doctor at Pittsburgh Medical Center. I'm calling concerning your mother, she was injured in an automobile accident earlier this evening and we need you to get to the hospital as soon as possible. She listed you as her medical contact and proxy."

"I'm on my way" Justin stated panicked, sprinting towards his old car.


	7. Chapter 7

**Life Altering!**

**Chapter Seven**

Justin entered the hospital, his eyes wild with fear and panic as he scanned the emergency room for his mother's face. The next fifteen minutes were the most confusing of his young life, as a nurse directed him to the third floor. The nurse instructed him to wait for a doctor, that he shouldn't be too long. While he waited for the news Justin was overcome with an eerie type of calm. The type that settles into your bones right before life altered on its axes. The kind that softens the blunt impact of tragic news, wraps you into one last hug before the world spirals out of control.

As an artist Justin spent his life watching people and drawing them at critical moments in their lives as they received every different sort of news possible. When the doctor locked eyes with Justin, the artist in Justin could read the regret, hopelessness and sadness radiating off of the doctor in front of him, before he even spoke. The calmness left as the overwhelming loss rushed into Justin's soul.

"No," Justin whispered in disbelief as the loss grabbed hold of him and threatened to choke him.

"I'm sorry son." The doctor spoke, pausing to take in the blond teen's anguish. "We tried everything we could, but your mother's injuries where too much for her to handle and we lost her on the operating table."

Justin nodded at the doctor, unable to talk, unable to think clearly as the grief made it's first wave throughout his body. The doctor stood waiting for the young man to settle down. "Do you need a sedative?"

"No." Justin croaked as he overcame the choking feeling in order to speak. The minutes passed slowly and everything seemed completely unfair to the him. "Wait, the baby?" Justin questioned suddenly, wearily, not daring to hope or fathom the possibility.

"Your brother is in the Neonatal Intensive Care Until. You can see him as soon as his doctor clears it. Now considering his low birth weight and medical problems, we can only assume that your mother's midwife was off on the date of conception. I would estimate that he's four to five weeks early," the doctor explained calmly. Justin could see in his eyes that he was relieved he was able to deliver some good news to the teen. "I'll show you to the Neonatal Ward whenever you're ready. Do you need to make any calls first?" the doctor questioned, causing Justin to pause.

"I need to call my father so he can tell my sister." Justin stated as the wave of he day's events hit him all over again. He considered how this would effect his sweet sister and for a few seconds he was hit with resentful thoughts of why him, why must he be the bearer of horrible news, news that would forever change their family.

Justin followed the doctor into a private waiting room near the neonatal ward that contained a phone, couch, table and chairs, television, vending machine and water dispenser. "I'm so sorry for your loss. Doctor Stetson will be with you soon." The doctor said, dismissing himself from the room.

Justin stood quietly for a few minutes. Tears streamed down his face as he stared at the phone. Picking it up with shaky hands he entered his father's number. He waited somewhat impatiently for his father to pick up. Sniffing and twisting his hands, he was unable to speak for a moment after his father's voice struck his ears.

"Hello Craig Taylor speaking." Craig Taylor spoke into the phone a little suspiciously, leery about the unknown phone number.

"Dad," Justin spoke, his voice rough and grief filled. "Don't hang up, please." Justin pleaded knowing his father didn't want to hear from him.

"Justin" His father's voice briefly contained concern for his estranged son. "What do you want?" He added more harshly.

"Mom... Mom," Justin cried before taking a gulp of air trying to breathe deeply. "Mom."

"What about your mother Justin?" Craig barked.

"Mom was in a. a. car accident and she passed away on the operating table." Justin said after taking a moment to collect himself.

"I'll tell your sister." Craig said shortly, his voice containing it's own amount of grief.

"Thanks," Justin breathed, his heart crushed.

"And Justin, let us know when the funeral is." Craig said before disconnecting the line.

Justin sat on the couch in the waiting room hugging his knees to his chest as a mixture of emotions of passed over him. A part of him wished he were young, back when his father was his hero. Back when his parents cherished and comforted him, when their lives revolved around keeping him safe, away from the big bad world. Reality really sucked!

"I'm Neonatologist Dr. Stetson, I'm here to talk to baby Taylor's surviving relative and next of kin." Justin stood up, cleaning off his face before greeting the doctor.

"I'm Justin Taylor," Justin spoke shaking the doctors hand.

"Baby Taylor was born weighing 3lbs and 8 oz. Upon delivery we confirmed that he did indeed have Atrial Septal Defect, a hole in his heart. We were dismayed to find that it was larger than we had originally thought and as soon as his lungs clear of fluid we're going to have to perform open heart surgery to fix the problem. I'm foreseeing a week to three-week stay in the hospital for baby Taylor."

"He's going to be okay?" Justin asked astonished. For the first time hope bubbled up in his chest.

"I'm optimistic that if all goes well and barring any complication, baby Taylor should be on his way home in a few weeks." The doctor clarified. "Would you like to see him now? It will probably be a day before his surgery."

"Yes," Justin nodded knowing that this would be what his mother would want; for him to be there for his baby brother.

"You'll need to scrub clean for three minutes put on a gown, then I'll introduce you to your bother." Dr. Stetson said as he showed Justin how to prep himself before entering the ward. For the next thirty minutes Justin was drowned in information. The pediatric cardiologist explained the surgery and risk, Dr. Stetson explained the baby's stay and a nurse updated everyone. Justin just nodded, overwhelmed. "We'll give you two some time to bond" The pediatric cardiologist said leaving the two brothers alone in the NICU. They weren't really alone, but as alone as possible in the busy NICU.

Justin stared at the tiny infant. "You need a name," Justin spoke finally after watching another family talk to their infant. He stared at his brother for a long time slipping between disbelief and heartbreak. "Gracin Matthew Taylor." Justin declared softly, reaching in the incubator and stroking the hand gently.

A plump dark hard nurse with a pretty smile approached Justin. "Mr. Taylor, we need you to fill out some paperwork."

"Alright." Justin said sitting back, unable to really process the day as he stared at the small baby boy.

The paperwork was both mind numbing and soothing. "Mr. Taylor, visiting hours are over. We promise to call you if anything changes with Gracin. I'm so sorry about your loss today but you can visit first thing in the morning. Go home and get a good night's rest." said the plump nurse whose name Justin finally noticed was Annie.

"I'm sorry I'm not your Mom, she was great, really, really great and she would have thought you where her little miracle. I'm sorry you'll never know how amazing she was." Justin apologized for the loss that both brothers had suffered. The walk out of the hospital was slow and the farther Justin got from the NICU the more the grief started to consume him.

Sitting in his car, Justin finally let the tears overtake him at the sudden realization of how alone he felt in the world. Cold dread filled his body. His mother was dead; the one person who always had his back no matter how much he screwed up. His father hated him and he probably would never let him see his little sister. All he had left was a baby brother who was fighting for his life and Brian, who couldn't admit to caring for him. After an hour of just staring out the windshield Justin drove to the loft not thinking, not wanting to be alone. He needed Brian to remind him he wasn't alone. It was a wild idea, a crazy unplanned idea but in that moment Justin needed to be with Brian.

Brian opened the loft door ass naked, disgruntled by the sudden interruption. He was surprised to see Justin staring at him looking like hell warmed over, dressed in the same clothes that he'd had on hours earlier.

"Justin...what the fuck?" Brian exclaimed, not wanting to go another emotional round with the teen.

"Get the fuck out" Justin snarled at the trick who was unsure what to do.

Brian took one more concerned glance at Justin before tossing the trick out the door with an annoyed sigh. The things he did for that boy.

"Justin what's going on?" Brian growled. His hazel eyes flashed with anger and annoyance as Justin refused to speak. Too surprised to stop him, Brian watched as Justin slammed down four shots of Jim Beam like a pro. "Justin stop being a fucking twat and talk..." Justin cut Brian off with a heated kiss as his young hands wandered the body that he had memorized.

"Justin," Brian moaned stepping out of the heated embrace, clueless as to what brought about this side of Justin. It was a side he'd never seen before and was unsure how to handle it.

"Shut up and fuck me." Justin demanded, moaning against Brian's mouth.

"Justin stop." Brian demanded, which went ignored by the younger man.

"No, please don't Brian." Justin pleaded. He desperately needed to be held, he needed for tonight to forget the world. "I need you Brian. I need you." Justin stressed, sounding half crazy to Brian.

Brian vowed that after he gave Justin what he thought he needed he'd get Sunshine to tell him what brought all this on. Brian kissed Justin hard with all the want, passion and emotion he had in him. Stripping Justin naked as if his clothes where on fire, Brian let his hand wander the gorgeous body in front of him. Secretly to himself he could admit that he missed the young man, as his hand roamed Justin's sensitive skin.

Brian swore as he heard the even breathing of Justin's sleeping form. So much for that talk. He set his alarm earlier than normal; the lost look in Justin's eyes unnerved him and he needed to get to the bottom of this. Sighing as he wrapped his arms around the exhausted man he drifted off to sleep.

Justin woke to the sound of his phone around five in the morning. As the night before slammed into him, Justin rushed into the living room searching for his phone.

"Mr. Taylor," A voice greeted his tired ears.

"Speaking," Justin, said his heart beginning to race.

"This is Dr. Stetson. Gracin had a spell with his heart a few minutes ago. We have him stable now but we need to repair that hole as soon as possible. Do we have permission to take him to surgery as soon as we have a team together?"

"Yes," Justin agreed, his heart pounding in worry.

"We'll see you soon," the doctor said before hanging up.

Justin swore slightly as he pulled on yesterday's clothes. He stood at the end of the bed looking at Brian for a moment debating on whether to tell him or not deciding there wasn't enough time he took off. The real world was a cold place in which Justin felt uneasy

Justin entered the hospital and was briefed on his brother's condition and the surgery. He found a coffee cart and forced himself to drink a few cups to keep himself focused throughout the day. Before the day even started the young man felt emotionally exhausted and refused to ponder his actions of the night before. Today he needed to be there for his brother, make arrangements for his mother and talk with her lawyer.


	8. Chapter 8

**Life Altering**

**Chapter Eight**

The pediatric cardiologist Dr. James and Dr. Stetson reassured Justin that his brother's surgery had gone beautifully and the infant would be in recovery for the next few hours. Once he passed a few critical tests Justin would be allowed to see him. He was told to head home and rest and they'd page him if necessary.

Even though the doctors' words where reassuring Justin couldn't bring himself to rest. On downtime away from his brother he struggled with the loss of his mother, not to mention the worry and heartache for his baby brother as well as concern and grief for his sister. He wondered how she was handling the news.

He answered his phone wearily, thankful that the waiting room was one of the few places on the floor that permitted the use of cell phones.

"Hello," Justin said tiredly into the phone, his voice sounding years older than his nineteen year old self.

"Mr. Taylor, my name is Max Thomas. I am your mother's attorney. She came to me to have her will drawn up in the unfortunate event of her passing. She has named you the executor of her will. I'm sorry for your loss Mr. Taylor."

"Oh." Justin muttered as he sank to the floor with the phone still in his hand. He let out a ragged breath. "Are you able to come look over some paperwork?" The attorney questioned.

"Yes, I'm free for the next few hours." Justin answered a little shakily.

"I can be ready for you in two hours time, see you at eleven thirty. My office is located at 213 Washington Avenue." The attorney said kindly before hanging up.

Justin let out a raspy breath before standing. He informed the NICU staff that he had errands to run, and picked up the pager that linked him to the NICU.

Justin left the hospital and made his way across town to the funeral home that had handled his Grandpa Taylor's funeral a few years before. "Hello." The young man who greeted him was kind and gentle, his green eyes almost emeralds and it didn't take Justin two seconds to peg the conservative man as gay.

"I'm Kaler Chism, part owner of Chism Family Funeral Home. How may I help you?"

"I need to arrange a time to plan my mother's funeral," Justin said on autopilot, feeling slightly detached from the situation.

"I'm sorry for your loss."

"She's currently at Pittsburgh Medical Center ," Justin said blankly.

"We'll need you to sign a few papers to let the hospital know we have your permission to pick up your mother. What time today would work for you?" The young funeral director asked.

"Evening would work best," Justin said. "Say seven if that's alright. My baby brother is in Neonatal ICU and after my next meeting I'll be at the hospital for the rest of the day."

"Seven would be fine. Let me get those papers and a few pamphlets," Mr. Chism said before leaving Justin standing in the small office. A few signatures later Justin left the funeral home and headed to the attorney's office.

Justin took in his appearance as he pulled into the law office parking lot. Maybe he should have gone home and changed. Oh well, it was too late now. Wearing yesterday's clothes, he looked a little bit untidy. He would go home to shower and change before returning to the hospital.  
Justin entered the office and shook the hand of Max Thomas before taking the seat that was offered to him.

"Let's get right to it shall we? I'm going to audio record this meeting for transcript purposes later. Is that okay with you?"

"It's fine with me," Justin answered as Max turned the device on and started his meeting.

"Thank you for coming in Justin. As I mentioned on the phone earlier today Jennifer Taylor listed you as the executor of her will. Her assets the house on Travis Lane and her car. Her inheritance from her father Matthew Meeker would be passed on to you as well. She has listed you as the guardian for her unborn child as your sister Molly would be placed with your father."

"I understand the financial aspects. I'm her son but are you sure I'm supposed to be his guardian?

"That was what your mother desired, yes."

"I don't think you understand. I'm nineteen and in college. I've never even had a pet before. I have a one bedroom apartment and live a fraction above the poverty line. I practically survive on ramen noodles."

"Well, if you don't wish to fulfill the "position" the child will be placed in foster care until his eighteenth birthday, or until legally adopted." Justin immediately panicked imagining his brother placed in the foster system, his tiny little boy growing up alone in the world. No. Justin wouldn't abandon his brother.

Justin lifted his head and whispered "I'll raise him," while the voice inside of him screamed NOT ME. "I can't believe what's happening. This isn't how it's supposed to be," he added sadly.

"As for the financial responsibilities, the house is almost completely paid off with about $35, 000 left on the mortgage. The car that is registered to her name is paid for and she had purchased savings bonds for her children that can be transferred to your name except for Molly Taylor's which she'll receive on her twenty fifth birthday or upon completion of college. You need to sign some papers transferring her father's inheritance to your name and account as well. There aren't any stipulations as long as you're over the age of eighteen unlike your mother whose inheritance was blocked throughout her marriage to Craig Taylor and wouldn't be lifted until his death or their divorce."

"Is the paperwork ready? Justin asked, not surprised that his grandfather hadn't approved of his mother's marriage to his father.

"Yes! After I received the call last night from your father I went to work sorting out your mother's will. Your mother and I were close in college, good friends," Max rambled as be placed a pile of paperwork before him. Justin signed papers until his arm went numb.

"These are the legal guardian papers," Max said placing them before Justin. The panic he felt escaped him as he wrote in his brother's name and filled out the paperwork. Justin went from being a big brother to a guardian with his signature on a piece of paper. It was slightly surreal.

Justin went back to his apartment where he showered and changed into clean clothes - a plain old navy tee shirt and a pair of cargo shorts. Standing in the middle of his bare living room he finally let himself give into the angry side of grief as he trashed the small room. Sometime later he felt slender arms wrap around him.

"Oh Justin," Daphne said sadly as Justin clung to his lifelong friend cried until he felt empty and hollow.

"Have you eaten?" she finally asked.

"No," Justin croaked, his blue eyes puffy.

"Go wash your face, we'll eat at the diner," Daphne said leaving no room for argument. Molly called and begged me to check on you since your father won't let her call you.

"How is Molly?" Justin asked wiping the tears off his cheek, pulling himself back together.

"She's heartbroken. It took me four tries to finally understand what she was telling me. Some of her grief is that Craig is refusing to let her see you," Daphne replied darkly, not pleased with Justin's father. Justin nodded as they left the apartment.

"I'm sorry I didn't call you," he said softly as Daphne drove them to the diner.

"I understand! How is the baby?" Daphne questioned, concern flashing across her face, bracing herself for more bad news.

"He's alive but he was born with a hole in his heart. He's so damn tiny Daph and the doctors had to surgically repair his heart this morning. His neonatologist is very optimistic about his recovery. They said he did wonderfully during his surgery and I can see him later this afternoon," Justin answered. "Gracin is so fucking small and all alone in the world except for me and that is freaking terrifying."

"Gracin. I like it," Daphne said obviously relieved at the good news. For the first time since his world turned on its axis Justin smiled as they entered the diner.

"Cheeseburger, fries and a death by chocolate shake please," Justin ordered, raising an eyebrow at Daphne's questioning look. "I might have done something stupid last night," he finally admitted after a few minutes of being stared down by a curious Daphne.

"I'll have a taco salad and a Dr. Pepper," Daphne ordered before responding to Justin's confession. "What did you do?" she questioned rolling her eyes.

"I might have barged into Brian's loft last night, kicked his trick out and then demanded that he fuck me after helping myself to a nice amount of alcohol," Justin said. "I went there to confide in him, seeking comfort or whatever but once I entered his loft I couldn't bring myself to admit it. I couldn't wrap my mind around my mom being gone. I didn't want to feel so fucking alone. Then I just left this morning after the hospital called. No explanation, no words, nothing. I didn't want to wake him and have to explain everything. So I just left."

"And look who is headed your way!" Daphne said, slightly amused but it was mostly dampened by the cloud of grief that hovered over them.

"Sunshine and Beautiful," Brian said kissing Justin's temple as if it were normal.

"Brian," both teens chorused together.

"So what are you two troublemakers up to today? I'm just curious being as since someone forgot to say goodbye before leaving," Brian added, his displeasure evident.

It didn't escape Brian's attention that Justin's blue eyes where haunted as if he'd spent most of the day crying. He almost scoffed as Justin tried to appear as if everything was alright. It angered him that Justin was still so closed off from him. This was something Brian was going to have to correct. When Brian Kinney wanted something nothing could stand in his way, and he wanted Justin.

"Alright who died?" Brian joked with a smirk that slowly slid off his face as he watched Justin's eyes widen and water. "Fuck," Brian muttered.

"My mom."

"Shit," Brian swore before wrapping an arm around the boy, who took a deep breath breathing in Brian's scent. It seemed to cloak him in safety. Brian offered up no half assed apologies or condolences, he simply held the griefstricken teen in his arms. The night before made sense. Letting go of Justin, he kissed the young man's forehead not caring how the diner took his caring gesture.

"Justin, call me anytime okay?"

Justin nodded before standing to leave the diner.

"I'll head over to Deb's and tell her," Brian added, receiving a heartfelt thank you.

Daphne talked quietly as Justin drove her to her parents. "You didn't tell him about Gracin."

"Daphne, Brian and I are complicated. We're not back together yet we're still friendly. I can't just blurt out all my problems to him anymore. I lost all those rights when I cheated on him with Ethan. Everything right now is confusing and scary. I can only focus on one thing at a time to get through the day. Right now my focus is on Gracin and down the line yes Brian will know everything. Hell the man didn't even know my mother was pregnant. Just because my mother died and I went to him for comfort doesn't mean anything. We're still a mess. My entire life right now is a mess," Justin ranted at his best friend, who just nodded her head accepting his words.

"I'll keep you up-dated Daphne. I love you and thanks for everything," Justin said as Daphne climbed out of his car.

The drive back to the hospital was quiet. Justin scrubbing in before stepping into the NICU, sat next to his brother's warming bed and gently touched his soft skin. His heart clenched at the slight of all the wires and tubes surrounding the little guy.

"Hey bud you are a strong little man," Justin whispered.

The plump dark haired nurse, Annie, said "You should be able to hold him tomorrow morning. Dr. Stetson is really pleased with his progress. Once his lungs clear up, his vitals stay stable and his weight goes up a tiny bit he'll be ready to go home. If he keeps going like he is then I'd say a week tops."

"A week," Justin said, slightly blown away. Looking at the boy before him with a bandaged chest and a thousand wires it was hard for him to imagine that in a week's time he'd be healthy enough to go home.

"Now don't hold me to that The nurse laughed lightly. Never trust a preemie is what we always say around here. We're just going by his chart up to now. That could always change but we pray it doesn't" she explained fondly.

"Okay," Justin said as he went back to holding his brother's tiny finger. His vitals improve when you talk to him. The nurse added before walking away, pointing to the small stack of children books.

Justin picked up **_Dr. Suess' Oh! The Places You'll Go!_** and began reading softly.


	9. Chapter 9

**Life Altering**

**Chapter Nine**

There were moments when Justin felt like he was watching everything happen through someone else's eyes, hoping he'd wake and it would all be just a horrible nightmare.

Jennifer's funeral was the most painful moment of Justin's life as he held his grieving sister in his arms. The only good thing that happened was when their father promised the pair of grieving siblings they could see each other again. He offered to set it up with Justin for Molly to meet her new brother.

Justin had to look hard at his financial situation. Adding the tiny teacup sized human to his budget would be tight and there was no way he would be able to afford his mother's mortgage payments for very long. So deciding to sell the house had been hard, but realistic. His small but safe apartment would have to work for them for the foreseeable future.

Justin was learning how to care for a newborn through classes provided by the hospital. The overwhelming love, fear and worry that consistently tugged at his mind when he held the baby in his arms tickled the nursing staff who teased him about his new daddy nerves.

Gracin's day nurse, Annie, informed Justin of his brother's progress and said he would be ready to go home. Justin set about to make sure his brother would have everything he would need at his apartment. They could have stayed at his mother's house while the real estate agent tried to sell it but Justin didn't feel comfortable sleeping there. It took a little bit of ingenuity to rearrange his practically empty living room to create the feeling of two separate rooms, but he wound up with a small nursery and living room.

**O-O**

Brian hadn't heard from Justin since the afternoon at the diner when he'd informed Brian of his mother's death, which caused the older man great concern, an emotion he didn't like to feel. Aware the emotion wasn't going to go away until he check in with Justin he picked up his phone.

"Hey," Brian sent the message before focusing on his work, every few minutes glancing at his phone.

"Hi," Justin responded a little over thirty minutes later.

"Babylon?" Brian replied, waiting impatiently to hear back.

"Busy," Justin answered as he changed into his light blue tee-shirt and grabbed the car seat, ready to head to the hospital to bring his brother home.

"What the fuck." Brian muttered in his office as he sat back, bewildered and a little annoyed. Not long ago Justin would have jumped at the chance to go with him. He would never have blown him off. Shaking his head, it was probably the grief Justin had been through lately, he most likely wasn't feeling up too it.

Brian realized he needed to go back to the drawing board and figure out how to get Justin back where he belonged. The little twat wasn't reacting as planned at anything he through at him in the past few months. Brian sat there staring out the window, trying to fit the pieces of the puzzle together to explain Justin's odd behavior.

First he needed to contact an old friend to find out where Justin was currently residing.

**O-O**

Justin paced anxiously as Gracin was put through the car seat test, the last test he needed to pass in order to be allowed to go home. The ninety minute test had Justin holding his breath as the clock ticked down. He watched the monitors for any episodes of desaturation, apnea, or bradycardia.

"He passed! He can go home now," one of the bubbly nurses gushed so excitedly that Justin wondered how she had so much positive energy.

"We have his apnea monitor and his oxygen packed for you." Annie said as Justin stared at her unblinkingly, a cold sweat covering his body.

"Just a second." Justin tried not to panic as the fear tugged at him sharply. A panic attack struggling to take over.

"Are you alright Justin?" Doctor Stetson asked, clearly concerned for the young man.

"I can't do this." Justin said, staring at the bright blue eyes of his brother, who needed him a hundred percent. "I... he's so little and fragile and you just cut open his chest two weeks ago. The world's not safe, his mother died in a car crash and I'm just a fucking teenager. Are you people crazy I can't take him home," Justin muttered as he stared at the eyes that locked on his, not fazed by his brother's drama moment.

Gracin's personal day nurse, Annie, spoke calmly to the scared parent. "You're right sweet child, the world isn't safe. Accidents happen, people are cruel and he is a tiny scary little thing. But just like his brother and his mother, Gracin is a fighter and he just spent ninety minutes in a car seat to prove to all of us that he's ready to bust out of this place and go home. Yes, you're a young man but I have faith in you and your love for him that he's going to be one excellently taken care of baby. You don't feel this way because you can't do this, you feel this way because you're a parent. You might be his brother in blood but you're that little boy's father and parental figure in every way that matters. Trust your mother honey, she knew what she was doing when she left him in your care."

"Okay," Justin said shakily picking up the infant, cradling him to his chest.

"Now, let's sign these papers so you two can finally head home." Annie said with a proud smile as the rest of the staff smiled at the two boys.

"One more and we're free bud." Justin spoke as his pen glazed over the release document.

Justin struggled slightly as he latched the squirming almost five pound baby into his car seat. "I know Gracin, give me a break bud. I'll get this down, it's just going to take a little practice. Yes, I know that doesn't sound reassuring." Justin whispered to the gurgling newborn.

"You didn't have to help me all the way to the car." Justin said with a grin to Annie who always became misty eyed with joy when one of her little NICU babies got to go home. Gracin was a first for her in her young career as a Pediatric Intensive Care Nurse, she'd lost babies before, but never had she had a baby who had lost so much so young and managed to survive his ordeal. He was her first orphaned baby, but she knew in her heart there would be more to come in her career.

"Oh Justin, I couldn't resist telling this beautiful little guy goodbye. You two are going to be just fine." Annie said gently caressing Gracin's cheek.

The first six hours at home went smoothly, but around ten at night a frustrated Gracin let out a cry. Justin tried feeding him, changing him, singing to him and pacing with him but as the crying continued Justin's fried nerves sizzled with exhaustion.

Justin placed Gracin in his crib and walked into the kitchen to pick up the phone, but ended up staring at it blankly when he realized he was dialing his mother's phone number. Feeling overwhelmed, he slumped into a kitchen chair and cried softly for a moment.

His mind scrambled to come up with someone to help him, anyone who would know what to do. "Who can I call? Lindsay hates me for hurting Brian, Michael feels the same. Emmett knows nothing about babies. Debbie would help but would she tell Brian?" Justin felt a moment of hope blossoming in his chest just thinking the name before he squashed the feeling.

Justin wasn't sure what was going on between himself and Brian. Before his mother's death, Justin was sure they were making progress toward working their way back to each other. But her death and the arrival of Gracin turned his world upside down and deemed or rendered all that progress useless. Justin now had more responsibilities; a commitment and a need for domesticity for his brother. There was no point in trying to pull Brian back into this life, when his life now was everything the man declared he detested. Justin sighed; he could call Daphne, but he didn't want to drag her across town this late.

With a tired sigh he relaxed his body and numbly he picked up Gracin, who was still whimpering. " ..Gracin. How about I put you in that carrier wrap thing you like."

Justin picked up the wrap carrier and began draping and wrapping it around his body, before placing the wide-awake baby into it. "Okay see, much faster this time Gracin. I think we about have this contraption down. I paint, you scream okay?"

Nestled warmly next to Justin's chest and listening to his brother's heartbeat Gracin's cries slowed to a pause. Justin hummed softly as he worked on a small painting.


	10. Chapter 10

The next month passed by in a whirlwind of projects, class papers, diapers, crying spells, bottles and late night rocking sessions for Justin and Gracin; while across town Brian took in his empty loft, having spent the last month enduring meeting after meeting in a variety of different cities. Trying hard to make partner, the little time he was home was spent repacking his luggage and indulging Mikey and the gang.

Brian and Justin stayed in contact with each other through text messages after Brian started their first text conversation over two months ago. It was easy and allowed them to have a small piece of the other in there life but still Brian knew Justin was hiding something.

Now that he was finally home from a last minute run to Chicago, Brian was ready to blow off some stream and let go of the stress of the past month. He had finally done it - he made partner and wanted to celebrate his accomplishment with Justin.

"What are you doing?" Brian texted.

"Watching the history channel." Justin answered back moments later.

"Woody's?" Brian asked.

"Can't!" came the reply. Brian let out a frustrated sigh.

Picking He picked up the file that his old friend Kenny who was a private investigator had dropped off and flicked it open. There wasn't much to it. There were a lot of things he already knew such as where Justin went to school, what kind of car the teen he drove, the license plate number. He wasn't a full time student this semester which surprised and angered Brian. Sticking his tongue between his teeth he read on.

"Damn it," Brian swore. Kenny's file didn't fill in the blanks somehow it just added more questions. At least he knew where the little twat lived and according to his friend it was a pretty decent neighborhood.

With the address in hand he picked up the keys to the jeep and put out his joint.

-*-*-

The knock on the apartment door startled Justin out of his sleep and he wearily glanced at the crib. A soft sigh of relief escaped as his brother continued to sleep. The colic was horrible and nothing seemed to work. With a grunt Justin lifted himself off the couch. He was bone tired and the faster he got rid of whoever was at the door, the greater his chance he had of going back to sleep was.

"What do you want?" Justin snapped as he opened his front door.

"Justin," Brian greeted pleasantly, raising an eyebrow at Justin's attitude.

"Brian," Justin said as he stepped out into the hallway, leaving the front door cracked slightly open.

"What are you doing here?" Justin finally asked after a long silent pause, bracing himself for the conversation ahead.

Brian stared at him profoundly for an instant before saying "I've..." he paused making sure he had Justin's eye contact before continuing "missed you."

"Oh!" was Justin's mindless response, giving Brian a blank look for a second before a small wistful smile graced his lips. How he had daydreamed of this moment often. "I missed you too." he added after an awkward pause.

"I am also here to find out why you're not taking a full course load this semester." Brian stated, stepping into Justin's body space, "and if you're willing, to spend some time with you."

"Brian I need to explain some..." Gracin cut his brother off with a very loud wail. "I guess I can just show you." Justin said observing Brian's surprise.

Justin left the door open behind him as he made his way to Gracin's crib.

"Hey buddy, you're awake I see," Justin whispered, picking up the wailing boy while turning to look at Brian.

Brian stood in the entryway of Justin's small apartment seeing the sink full of dirty bottles, the load of clean laundry in a basket on the counter and Justin's kitchen table with piles of books and artwork cluttering it.

"Brian."

"Yes," Brian said, his eyes snapping to Justin's as he noticed the child in Justin's arms.

"This is Gracin Matthew Taylor" Justin said, introducing a startled looking Brian to his younger brother. "Gracin, this is the legendary Brian Kinney in the flesh."

As Brian continued to stare at him behind a closed off wall Justin added, "My brother."

"Explain?" Brian asked stiffly, the pieces falling into place.

"My mother told me she was pregnant a few days before we broke up, we were so rocky I never found a chance to tell you. Then we weren't together so I didn't have a reason to. When she passed and Gracin was born I could only concentrate on one day at a time." Justin says said, clearing up the mystery that had surrounded him since his mother's passing.

"I see." Brian finally spoke as his mind tried to process the recently acquired information about his young lover.

"I was going to tell you." Justin declared, gently jostling Gracin, trying to keep him calm in his tense arms.

"I bet." Brian drawled sarcastically not at all convinced, sour mood obvious in his posture and facial expression. His hazel eyes darkened at Justin's straightforward lie to his face.

"Okay maybe I had no intention of telling you." Justin said, his own emotional status in an upheaval. "Why should I have though?" he taunted, completely on the defense.

Brian remained in shocked silence."Nothing!" Justin provoked. "No surprise, Brian Fucking Kinney doesn't answers to no one unless it's for his better gain. Oh, but you are curious as to why I didn't tell you, your pride and ego are just itching to know aren't they?"

Justin took in Brian's steely expression, that is classic Brian Kinney when he's pretending not to care.

"I didn't tell you because in one single moment I became everything you claim to hate. I'll never be the best homosexual that I can be in your eyes. I want to have a stable home life for my brother. My life doesn't revolve around me anymore and especially not you." Justin laid out his reasons and fears to Brian in one long ramble.

Justin's eyebrow shot up in surprise when Brian softly spoke "I could never hate you. I might not like the changes, but I could never hate you."

Brian stared at Justin, taking in his handsome form before kissing him once on the mouth and looking down at the fussy baby whose eyes where almost identical to his older brother's. "Leave it to Justin to do the right thing!" Brian thought proudly.

"I'll see you around Sunshine," Brian said as he walked away.


	11. Chapter 11

With the inheritance check in hand Justin could breathe again. It was a lot more than the lawyer had described but then again they never talked actual numbers. There was enough to pay off his mother's mortgage and pay for Gracin's daycare for the next five years, while he went to school and tried to make a name for himself. Hell, he could even pay for the next two years' tuition.

Justin sat in the rocker, his mind swirling with the debate of whether to sell his house or pay it off and move in. There where many pros. The neighborhood was great, there was a backyard, it was near the daycare center he wanted Gracin to attend.

He was startled out of his financial planning when his cell started to ring.

"Hello," Justin answered not recognizing the number.

"Justin?" The familiar voice asked.

Justin stared at the phone trying to register who was talking to him. After a moment it hit him. "Dad, how did you get my number?"

"Your mother kept me up to date with your contact information." Craig informed his son. "I was calling to discuss visitation with your sister. I'm willing to let her stay every other weekend with you."

Justin rolled his eyes. Obviously full time parenting was getting to his old man. "Sure. I'll pick her up Saturday morning and drop her off later that day."

"No. From Friday after school until Monday morning." Craig said crisply.

Justin smiled into the phone. He'd thought that after his mother's death his father would keep his sister from him until she was of age. 'Guess I misjudged his selfishness', Justin thought.

"Well?" Craig demanded.

"Yes that's fine." Justin said, careful to hide his excitement, not wanting his asshole of a father to change his mind.

"Molly will be expecting you on Friday." Craig said before hanging up.

"Well Gracin, looks like your sister is coming over to play with you. I guess that decided it for us. I'll call the real estate agent." Justin said softly, only to reciecve a toothless grin that made his heart soar with pure joy.

"Hello Mrs. Janette? It's Justin Taylor. I'm calling about the house I placed on the market. I no longer need to sell it."

"Hello Justin, I've been meaning to call you. May I ask why?"

"My inheritance was more than I was expecting, and I've recently learned that I will need the space as well. Plus we weren't having any luck. I've had no bids."

"Yes while there have been no bids there has been a lot of interest in the mural on the wall in the nursery. I was wondering if you knew the artist your mother hired to have it done? I've had a few clients and friends wanting his number."

"Oh, well my mother hired no one. I painted it as a present for her."

"Would you mind if I passed your number along to the interested parties?"

"Umm..sure," Justin said after a moment of hesitation.

"Thank you. Just come into my office and we'll take the house off the market, no problem."

-*-*-

"Okay buddy, you're two months old and have had your shots. The doctors have cleared you for brief trips out in public and a sanitary childcare center. Ready to meet your Grandma Debbie?" Justin asked to his drooling brother.

Justin pushed the stroller into the quiet diner that was apparently between rushes.

"Debbie?" Justin said getting the warm-hearted woman's attention.

"Sunshine," she squealed in excitement that quickly faded to shock. "Who did you knock up?"

"No one," Justin said blushing. "Debbie, meet my brother Gracin. Gracin this is your...Grandma Deb."

"Grandma," she whispered choked up.

"I hope you don't mind, we don't have anyone else." Justin said bashfully giving her a hopeful sunshine smile. "I would have introduced you sooner but Gracin hasn't been allowed out until recently."

Debbie pulled him into a tight hug before pushing him out of the way. "Come to Grandma precious. Oh Justin he has your eyes. You're a mini Sunshine yes you are."

Justin laughed as Debbie babbled baby talk to her heart's content. "He's so small Justin."

"He's grown a lot, doubled his weight. His doctors are very pleased with his progress."

"You'll be at our monthly Sunday dinner?"

"I don't know." Justin replied wearily.

"Oh yes! You will. You won't be depriving me of my grandson." Debbie said.


	12. Chapter 12

So are you ready Gracin?" Justin asked rhetorically to his two month old brother who just blinked up at him with wide blue eyes "Hurry up Mols."

"I'm coming, I'm coming." Molly bellowed from her room full of prepubescent hormones.

"Watch your tone," Justin hollered back, rubbing his forehead, trying to ease the tension from his skull. "I will not kill your sister, I will not kill your sister." Justin murmured to Gracin. It had been a very long weekend on the hormonal roller-coaster that was their sister. Justin didn't blame her for her sourpuss attitude. They had just lost their mother and she was stuck living with their father whose idea of parenting was TV dinners and making sure she got to school on time. Nothing more, nothing less.

"You look mighty grown up Mollusk." Justin said, taking in the bright polka dots and single shoulder dress.

"Yeah, if I'm so grown up you'd stop calling me Mollusk." Molly griped before smiling brightly at Gracin who had just dozed off. "He's asleep Jus!"

"I know, but unfortunately we have to put him in his car-seat or we're going to be late." Justin said as they both cast a glance at the torture device called an infant car seat.

"Damn," Molly swore lightly, before quickly apologizing when her brother tossed her a dirty look for her bad language.

-

"Justin, are we going to get out or are we going to sit in the driveway all night?" Molly asked sarcastically after waiting patiently for awhile for Justin to exit the vehicle.

"Debbie would slice off my... anyhoo...we need to go in." Justin said as he got out of the car.

-

"Move out of my way," Debbie shrieked, making a beeline for the door, pushing Michael out of the way to greet Justin.

"Sunshine," She boomed as she pulled him inside.

Justin smiled awkwardly at the gang, who where collectively flabbergasted at Justin's arrival, not to mention the guests he brought with him.

"Everyone quit fucking gawking." Debbie swore, grabbing everyone's attention. "Now I'd like you all to meet my honorary grandson Gracin Matthew Taylor and his big sister Molly."

"Hi!" Molly said, giving the group a small shy wave.

"Hey half pint, Sunshine and mini Sunshine." Brian said, stepping out of the small crowd to greet them, letting Molly hug him as he kissed her older brother lightly on the lips.

Justin was amused the overly curious mismatched family managed to wait until dinner to start the round of their interrogation.

"Justin sweetheart, Gracin is very little for twelve weeks old." Lindsay stated as she picked up the preemie baby.

"He was almost six weeks early, so technically from a medical standpoint he's five weeks old. He spent the first two weeks of his life in the NICU." Justin said, clarifying on a few unanswered

"Oh, he's a very handsome and lucky boy." Lindsay said as she held Gracin. "How are you handing it? Are you still in school?"

"I'm learning, and college is going well. I cut my schedule by two classes."

"And financially?" Ted inquired nosely.

"We're stable, I work almost full time and I've picked up some side work."

"Side work?" Brian questioned with a raised eyebrow, hiding how his heart leaped to his throat. He hoped that Justin wasn't doing anything that could put him at risk.

"Justin got this, like, awesome gig painting a nursery for some really nice people expecting a baby soon. I went with him on a followup interview and he totally nailed it. He had four different ideas sketched out and they loved them all it was so hard for them to decide and it pays a bunch." Molly gushed proudly to Brian, blushing when he gave her a small wink in thanks.

"That's wonderful Justin." Lindsay said praising her young friend.

"So are you keeping up with your classes?" Ben asked politely.

"He's doing remarkably well, at the top in his class in 3 out of 4 of his classes and in the high top half on the fourth. All of his professors praise his dedication and talent." Brian answered, giving Justin a proud grin.

"You're spying on me?" Justin asked teasingly.

"As your sponsor I'm allowed to make sure you're maintaining a high GPA." Brian said, evading Justin's accusation effortlessly. He wasn't willing to admit that once he knew of Justin's new priorities that he had made sure Justin's grades weren't suffering from the after-shock of his new reality.

-

While Grandma Deb rocked Gracin, and Molly was distracted playing with Gus, Melanie rudely blurted out "Justin, are you sure you're ready for the responsibility of raising a child? You're just a kid."

Surprising everyone including himself, Brian defended Justin without hesitation "Shut the fuck up Mel."

"Brian..." Lindsay said, cutting off her longtime friend from insulting her life partner.

"I know you all see me as the doe eyed boy who followed Brian around, but a lot of shit has happened since then. My mother thought I was responsible enough or she wouldn't have left him in my care. So I'm asking you, are you questioning my mother's judgement?"

Justin looked blankly on when Melanie balked at his question.

"So honey breeches why is Miss Molly with you tonight?" Emmett asked curiously as he placed his arm over Justin's shoulder, ignoring Brian's evil eye and sending him a gloating look in return. "I thought you were as nervous as a rooster in a hen house about Molly and how your father was going to keep you two apart."

"Oh Justin hasn't told you yet... they're co-parenting now" Molly said rolling her eyes.

"Co-parenting?" Brian mouthed to Justin, waiting for him to clarify.

Justin bit back a sigh "Molly stays with me every other weekend. Now is this interrogation over with yet?"

"Everyone leave Justin alone, you all know that he has a good head on his shoulders so keep your nosey noses out of his business." Debbie said, firmly steering the family onto a different topic.

-

Justin watched as the gang filtered out of the house headed to Babylon together, while he changed a dirty diaper. "I can't believe how big Gus has gotten. If you need a babysitter, I have Molly on the 2nd and 4th weekends of the month, she'll be supervised of course."

"A kind heart like always..We might take you up on that offer." Lindsay said as Justin handed her the sleepy toddler "Goodnight Justin."

"We'll be out of your hair in a minute Debbie, I'm just packing up." Justin said as he loaded up the diaper bag.

"Why don't you go out for a few hours? Dance. Blow off some steam and pick the kids up, around one. Molly was telling me she doesn't have school tomorrow, parent teacher conferences." Debbie said contently as she rocked Gracin. "Plus little Gracin wants some Grandma time and you need a break."

"Deb..." Justin said, unsure.

"Don't Deb me Sunshine, I'm telling you go out and shake that precious booty of yours for a couple hours and let me rock this tiny beauty for a few more hours." Debbie said pointing to the door. "I don't expect you before one."

Justin stepped into Babylon letting the music wash over him as if it was like a calming breeze. He couldn't of have been in the club more than a few minutes before Brian spotted him making his way to the bar.

"So where are the pint sized humans?" Brian asked as he took a sip of his beer.

"Debbie is watching them. She all but demanded that I go out and have a good time."

"Want to dance?"

"Sure."

Justin stepped out onto the floor, enjoying the fact that Brian was in his personal space. He could feel each of Brian's fingers - thumb, index, middle, ring and pinky - press warm and strong into his back, as the expanse of his palm drew Justin closer to him.

Involuntarily, Justin's free hand lifted, coming to rest on Brian's arm, traveling upward as it explored the contours of his muscles, before moving up his shoulder and around his neck.

Justin's thighs pressed against Brian, muscle against muscle, as Brian held Justin against him, firmly in place. Justin's feet began to move. and Brian followed with ease and their eyes locked on shared a passionate look between the two.

As they moved, Justin got the sense, the way Brian held him, that Brian was never going to let him go. Justin closed his eyes and bent his head to Brian's shoulder, basking in the feeling of safety and love that poured off of Brian as they danced

"I've missed this" Brian whispered.

"I know."

"I want you in my life," Brian confessed quietly so only Justin could hear. It was a simple phrase but the impact was powerful it was a complete admission of caring, want, need for Justin.

"I want you in mine." Justin stated, acknowledging a the simple fact that he had tried to hide from himself.

"When will I see you again?" Brian asked before quickly adding "and don't fucking say in your dreams."

"I don't know. Gracin...Probably at the Sunday dinners," Justin said. "I have to go."

As Justin drove to Debbie's he came to the crushing realization that Brian still completely owned his heart and when he gave it to him he forgot to add in the return policy. That thought was overwhelming for only a moment until he came to the startling conclusion that he and Brian were both beyond all their old issues. Brian had openly admitted to wanting him around, caring for him. The small sparks of hope that Brian had been igniting here and there for the past while, blazed to life.


	13. Chapter 13

Brian watched as Justin sat in their booth talking animatedly with a young man who was typing and clicking away on the laptop that sat between them.

"That's it?" Justin exclaimed, surprised at how easy his friend made building a website look.

"Yep." Charles said proudly "Your website is all set for potential clients."

"I owe you one," Justin said, clasping his hand on Charles' shoulder affectionately, his gratitude genuine.

"No, we're even Steven." Charles said as he stood up. "This is payback for the A you nailed for me in my creative writing class with the illustration you provided."

"At least let me pay you then." Justin said as he reached for his wallet.

"Seriously Justin, no." Charles said while he shook his head. "I'll see you in class on Tuesday."

"Later Charles."

o-o-o

"Brian." Justin greeted his former lover with a light kiss on the mouth.

"So what was that about Justin?" Brian asked curiously.

"Oh, Charles helped me build my website. That boy has talent when it comes to computers and writing." Justin explained, handing him a business card that Molly had designed in her own computer class.

" ," Brian said, quirking an eyebrow in surprise.

"Yeah, Molly came up with the name in her computer class. They're creating a fictitious business and her little fake business card was way cute, so I thought what the hell and I decided to use it for real. Mols about lost her mind when I asked to use it." Justin rambled as he watched Brian's face carefully.

"Isn't this a little premature?" Brian asked bluntly, while he pushed his concern away. He hoped Justin wasn't jumping into something half cocked.

"Not really," Justin said weakly with a nervous laugh. "I'm booked for the next two and a half months solid. I might have to quit Mike's if my little side business doesn't level off soon."

"It's going that well?" Brian asked a little blindsided. He knew that for the last few months Justin had been busy with his side business - as he liked to call it - painting nurseries for expectant couples.

"Yes, it seems every time I finish a nursery I gain two or three more." Justin said proudly. "I've had to cut way back at the steakhouse because the money in the nursery business is phenomenal. At this rate, next year I'll be able to pay my own tuition."

"Justin..." Brian started, only to be cut off.

"Don't start Brian, you don't need to use the excuse of my tuition to keep me in your life anymore. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere." Justin said quietly as he maintained eye contact with Brian's hazel eyes. He caught the flash of embarrassment that flickered in and out very briefly.

"Okay," Brian said with a tight smile.

"Now if you want to see my final projects before I turn them in next week, you're going to have to come back to my place." Justin said as he stood up. "I'm running late."

"Okay. Your car or mine?" Brian asked while he wiggled a suggestive eyebrow.

"Mine," Justin huffed as he led Brian out of the diner.

o-o-o-o

"Jesus Molly, you're only spending the weekend." Brian announced when he caught sight of the oversized suitcase.

"Nice to see you too Brian," Molly scowled, not pleased with his attempt at humor.

"Molly," Justin said as he greeted his sister with a small hug before he helped her load her suitcase in the trunk. "Craig doesn't do laundry," Justin explained simply to a confused Brian.

The next stop was to pick up Gracin from the nannycare center that specialized in overpriced infant childcare, or at least that was what Melanie declared at the last monthly dinner.

Justin liked the center because it was clean and had a amazing staff of educated childcare providers who took their careers seriously and enjoyed their work.

o-o-o-o

"First things first Molly. Get to work on your essay...don't think about it missy," Justin snapped when he saw his sister open her mouth to protest. "Homework out of the way first; then we will discuss weekend plans."

He then turned to Brian and tossed the man a pleading look before he asked, "Will you keep an eye on them for a minute while I go change, please?"

Brian cast a wary glance at Gracin, who was gurgling happily in his bouncer while he chewed on a yellow teddy bear "Sure."

"You're a lifesaver, thanks!" Justin said before he placed a kiss on Brian's cheek.

Ever since Justin's revelation about Brian a few months ago their relationship had taken a positive turn. They couldn't explain it to anyone, especially themselves. They kissed and teased each other. The sexual tension between them was obvious but they kept each other safely tucked away in friend territory.

Brian watched Justin's retreating backside with a smile, until the sound of Molly's pseudo vomiting reached his ears. "Do your homework squirt," Brian taunted as he pointed at the desk.

Molly grumbled unintelligibly as her eyes returned to her homework.

As Gracin started to whimper Brian cast a frantic look toward the stairs. "Shit."

"He doesn't bite," Molly sassed, amused at Brian's predicament as he picked up Gracin with a frown.

Molly snickered when Gracin let out a large burp, promptly spitting up on Brian's new Armani suit. "Justin, get your ass down here," Brian hollered abruptly as he placed the now content little devil back in his bouncer seat.

"What's wrong?" Justin called as he scrambled down the stairs into the living room, his heart in his throat.

Brian felt ashamed for a split second when he took in the fear on Justin's face, but quickly pushed it to the side. "Your mini me puked on me."

As the adrenaline fled his body Justin cracked up. "Sorry, the bathroom is over there."

The next few hours went by without any more accidents as Justin showed Brian his projects and plans for the upcoming semester after the winter holiday.

After going over Justin's final projects he watched him cook, check homework, start laundry, settle Gracin down, double check homework and serve them dinner.

"Now that your first draft is done, what would like to do tomorrow?" Justin asked his sister as he poured Brian a glass of wine.

"Can I go to Shannon's after basketball practice?" Molly asked hopefully.

"I'll speak to her mother tomorrow and if she is agreeable then yes." Justin consented before adding a stipulation. "But you're to be home for dinner. We're going to have that essay typed and completed by Monday morning."

"Justin," Molly whined. "Dad would have let me spend the night."

"Tough cookies, I'm not Dad and I expect you to do your best," Justin scowled.

"Fine," Molly snapped.

The rest of the dinner was quiet except for the occasional high pitched scream from Gracin when he wanted his share of the attention.

"So what are you doing tomorrow?" Brian asked, after Molly went up to her room for the night.

"Gracin and I are going pick up Christmas gifts at the mall before the rush." Justin said, wiping the peas off Gracin's face with a smile as he readied the little boy for bed.

"I need to pick out my dear sister's gift. Mind if Gus and I tag along?" Brian asked with a slight wince.

"Okay, we can meet here at noon." Justin agreed as he placed Gracin in his airplane sleeper. He snuggled the little boy to his chest for his bedtime bottle and began to rock him to sleep.

Brian's eyes began to twinkle when he said, "I'm warning you, whatever I buy her will be three sizes too small and have stripes."

Justin laughed. He knew what a bitch Brian's sister was "There are better ways to fly your asshole flag. She can't help being plump, obtuse and a crappy parent anymore than you can help being gorgeous and exceptional… Or you could kill her with kindness and do something SOOO sweet for her that she'd hate you even more...But for the record… the bitch in me thinks a shitty sister kit would be fun - gym membership, a thesaurus and parenting class certificate."

Brian raised his eyebrows. Justin's genius always took him by surprise. "You're an evil little twink," Brian said with a chuckle.

"I know and I'm not changing any of Gus' diapers for you tomorrow buster." Justin said with a laugh at Brian's guilty expression.

"Twenty bucks."

"Fifty a diaper," Justin bargained.

"Thirty five."

"Fifty," Justin said with an evil little smirk.

"Fourty-nine and you never tell the munchers." Brian said firmly, his final offer.

"Deal," Justin said as he leaned up and kissed Brian's pouting lips. "Want to stay for a movie?" Justin offered as he stood to take Gracin to his nursery.

"Sounds nice," Brian said as he sat down on the sofa.

Justin felt like he could have been knocked over by a feather when Brian agreed to stay around for a movie instead of going off to Babylon in search of a fuck. "Pick a movie, I'll be back in a minute."


	14. Chapter 14

Brian arrived at Justin's a little early. From the moment he let it slip to Gus that they we're going to hang out with Justin and Gracin, the little man had done nothing but beg, plead and cry to go over to Justin's.

The second that Justin answered the door with the phone to his ear, Brian could tell that whomever was on the phone had royally pissed him off. Justin made a come in motion with his hand, with the signal to be quiet. His face was contorted in an angry expression, his blue eyes ablaze as he listened with rapt attention to the person on the other line.

Brian decided to follow Gus, who had let go of his hand and made a bee-line for the family room. Apparently his child had been here before. Brian watched as Gus opened the toy box in the corner of the room where Gracin's baby paraphernalia was kept, and pulled out some puzzles to play with.

"Gus, Daddy's going to talk to Justin, keep playing sonny boy." Brian instructed so the boy wouldn't be scared if he looked up and noticed his Daddy gone.

"Otay," Gus said, busy with his puzzle.

Brian stepped into the kitchen and watched Justin pace as he tried to hold his tongue; his blue eyes had darkened with anger.

"Where the fuck will you be for three damn weeks Craig?" Justin spat angrily as he restrained himself from tossing the phone across the room.

"None of your goddamn business! Now do you want Molly for the holidays or do I send her to your aunt for Christmas?" Craig swore before he gave Justin the ultimatum.

"I'll take her," Justin snapped, clearly pissed at his worthless father. "Are you at least going to send her gifts with her?"

"I'll drop a check by, get her whatever you think will make her happy." Craig said, uninterested.

"For the record, this tops the fucking cake of shitty things you've done as a father. She lost her mom not even five months ago and you're ditching her at Christmas and leaving her with your faggot son whom you claim to be ashamed of, to go get fucked." Justin ranted. He now knew that no matter how angry he made him, Craig wouldn't keep Molly from him, he was just that selfish. "Have a Merry Fucking Christmas! Drop Molly off on Tuesday before break begins. Make sure she packs everything she needs. Don't forget she needs a gift for Brice for Secret Santa."

"My, you two sound happily married." Brian teased, pecking Justin on the forehead as the teen struggled to get his temper in check. They walked back into the family room where Gus was at play.

"Gus-in," Gus cried happily as he looked up from his toddler puzzle, melting Justin's temper with one tiny smile.

"Gus my big guy," Justin sang as he scooped up Gus from the floor to give him a hug.

"Gus-in Dada is here," Gus said as he pointed proudly to his father.

"I see that your Dada is here."

"Baby Gacin at?" Gus asked much to Brian's surprise.

"That silly little monkey is napping." Justin explained making the toddler laugh.

"You watch Gus often?" Brian asked once Gus was distracted with the kiddie show and puzzle.

"Occasionally a night here and there, and Molly watches him every other Sunday for a couple hours in the afternoon while Lindsay and Melanie do their shopping." Justin explained, slightly rattled that Brian wasn't aware of his arrangement with the girls. "It's not a problem is it?"

"No...I," Brian said, then he cut himself off as his facial expression went blank.

Justin sighed deeply before he spoke. "You're not a bad father, you care, you love him. It's not your fault they keep you out of the loop. If you want more time just stand your ground; you're a good father." Justin said as he checked the diaper bag.

Brian nodded, thinking over Justin's words as he watched him make Gus a snack of grapes and baby carrots. "I'll be right back; go put Gus' car seat in my car while I get Gracin ready."

"Your car?" Brian whined as he cast a dirty look out the window at Justin's old Ford Taurus.

"Yes my car, I have to pick Molly up later today and your Jeep isn't really made for a backseat full of youngsters. Besides, we can park closer to the door at the mall instead of way out in the boondocks so no one scratches your baby." Justin reasoned teasingly.

"I'm going to buy a damn SUV," Brian said jokingly to Justin's retreating form only to receive a chuckle in return.

o-o-o-o

Brian couldn't figure out how Justin kept that damn smile on his face because he was about to have a class four melt down. He griped, "Who goes to the fucking mall in December?"

"Brian, quit being a drama queen and pick something." Justin snapped with a laugh as he bounced a tired Gus on his hip. Gracin had given up the battle long ago and decided to sleep through this noisey experience.

"Yeah Dada," Gus said seriously as he nodded his head in agreement with Justin.

"I'm going with the Friday's gift card." Brian said picking up the card and heading to the checkout. "It's not nice enough to warrant a thank you card and it's not horrible enough to receive a bitch out."

"About time, we're going to starve aren't we Gus?" Justin whined playfully as he lifted the toddler in the air, making the miniature Kinney squeal with laughter.

"I never said a word while you spent forty-five minutes in a girl tween store and you dare to whine while I pick out a simple gift card." Brian said quirking an eyebrow.

"Point," Justin nodded his head as he conceded Brian's statement.

"arving Dada," Gus said mirroring Justin's pout, which sent Justin into a wave of laughter when Brian rolled his eyes, amused with his boys. The bond that Justin and Gus shared amazed him.

"So when are Lindsay and Mel picking up Gus?" Justin asked as they headed to the parking lot.

"Not until past ten tonight."

"If you want you can stick around, we're going to put up the Christmas tree." Justin offered. He knew the loft didn't have many activities for a two and a half year old.

"Tree Dada tree," Gus pleaded as he gave his father a hopeful smile.

"Tree it is sonny boy," Brian said to Gus as he buckled the toddler into his seat.

o-o-o-o

Brian watched as Justin took the last storage container down from the attic.

"So what now?" Brian asked completely lost.

"Molly will untangle lights and you and I are going to put the tree together and fluff it," Justin explained.

"What Gus do?" Gus asked, his hazel eyes wide and excited.

"You get to pick out what you want to put on the tree." Justin said handing him a box of plastic and unbreakable ornaments.

"Fluff it?" Brian questioned.

"It's been packed away in storage all year in a box, we put it together then spread out the branches to make it authentic looking."

"Oh," was Brian's quiet response. As Justin set to work, Brian awkwardly followed his lead, spreading out the branches. It wasn't until they had the tree put together that Justin realized Brian had never decorated a Christmas tree before.

Justin pretended not to notice the emotions on Brian's face as father and son hung ornaments. It was a precious moment that Justin couldn't wait to put on canvas.

Molly poked Justin's ribs to get his attention. He was engrossed in watching Brian and Gus' facial expressions as they looked at the completed tree.

"They're kinda cute, Brian's never done this before has he?" Molly said quietly as if she instinctively knew that she was witnessing something special.

"No, he hasn't," Justin whispered back.

"Can we keep him?" Molly asked playfully, her blue eyes twinkling.

"Maybe."

"He needs a family," Molly said seriously before she walked over to Brian. She handed him a mug of hot cocoa with whipped cream and then stared him down until he took a sip.


	15. Chapter 15

**Life Altering!**

**Chapter Fifteen**

Brian lay in his bed on Christmas Eve with a joint clamped between his teeth as he tried to fight off the loneliness and silence that seemed to echo throughout the loft ever since Justin left. He hadn't had a good night's sleep since the night before the Rage party over eight months ago.

For a while now Brian had been in a mental clash with himself. He had admitted to wanting Justin in his life and he had played himself for a fool as he tried to convince himself that they could 'just' be friends. Every time he was around Justin his whole body went on alert, tingled just by being in his presence since the Ian..Ethan angst that lingered between them had vanished.

It was Brian's apprehension now that kept them apart. Could he really offer Justin an honest relationship without the all the tomfuckery? It was very apparent that Justin had become his own man and wouldn't settle for less. He was fine being 'just' friends if that was all Brian could offer him, but Brian knew he longed for more. It was in the way they danced together on the floor of Babylon on the few nights Justin had arranged for Daphne or Debbie to babysit so he could go out. It amazed Brian that Justin would rather spend a few hours in his arms on the dance floor than in the backroom releasing the tension.

Gracin was a lot to fathom but damn it if he didn't feel naturally protective from the moment he laid eyes on the tiny infant who looked so much like his older brother. At first he had a private hissy fit in his loft after he found out about the baby, and Justin's admission of having no intentions of telling him in fear of Brian detesting him as a Stepford fag.

Once the anger and hurt subsided Brian's insecure side surfaced. Gracin and Molly had become Justin's first concern and he hated not knowing where he ranked. As the months passed he came to understand that just because Justin's life had changed it didn't mean the Justin's feeling for him had. He observed that the bond between Gus and Justin had only grown stronger since Gracin's arrival. It was almost like Gus thought of Gracin as a little brother and it had melted his cold heart the way Gus mothered Gracin.

Fuck it all he was Brian Kinney and he had a very solid track record of getting what he wanted. When it came to Justin his rules had never really matter anyway. He would break, bend and twist them to make sure Justin was a part of his life. He wanted Justin and he was just going to have to make up an entirely new fucking rule book.

Pulling himself out of his swirling thoughts, he sat up, flicked his phone open and texted. "_You awake?"_

"Good night bottle, what's up?" Justin responded with in a few minutes.

_"Going to bed soon?"_

"Probably not! Want to come over? I'm watching classic Christmas cartoons," Justin offered before Brian had a chance to ask.

_"Be there in twenty,"_ Brian responded as he pulled on a grey sweater and poured the rest of his beer down the drain before leaving the loft and its loneliness behind.

Brian knocked before he entered Justin's house and the delicious smell of popcorn assaulted his nose before he stepped into the family room.

"It's ten thirty at night Justin," Brian said teasingly as he cast an appalled look at the bowl of popcorn.

"It's Christmas!" Justin said cheekily.

"And?"

"That means that I don't care." Justin said with a laugh, tossing Brian a snack sized package of twizzlers, his favorite. "Enjoy."

"Thanks," Brian said as he opened his non-fat treat, he could work out tomorrow. He didn't miss the shock that flickered on Justin's face or the sunshine smile that followed. Yes, the extra hour tomorrow was worth seeing that smile.

"So what are we watching?" Brian asked as soon as Justin came back with drinks.

"Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer."

"Never seen it," Brian stated.

Justin stared for a moment before wrapping Brian's arms around him as he leaned on his strong chest to watch the show. 'It's a classic, my favorite Christmas cartoon since I was four. My mom used to have to hide the tape in March and she wouldn't retrieve it until after Thanksgiving."

Brian laughed quietly and stole a few pieces of popcorn as Justin pretended not to notice. Yes, maybe normalcy wasn't so bad.

A few cartoons later Brian woke to the sound of Gracin's hunger cry. Looking down at an exhausted Justin, he readjusted the sleeping man and made his way to the nursery upstairs.

"Hey little sun you should be sleeping," Brian whispered as he leaned over the crib and picked up the sobbing infant who immediately shushed as soon as he felt Brian lift him from his bed.

"Don't you start," Brian whispered softly once Gracin realized that Justin didn't have him. "Your big brother is exhausted, you've been hard on him so tonight we're going to let him sleep and we're going to hang out and get to know each other, capiche?"

"Gah ahh," Gacin cooed before giving Brian his own version of the sunshine smile.

"Oh crap, you smiled." Brian said, not registering that he was grinning like an idiot back at the beaming infant. "You've done that before, right?" Brian asked, "Justin didn't miss anything special or anything, right?"

Brian played with the wide awake baby for a while before Gracin decided he was ready for his bottle and bed again.

As soon as he entered the family room he knew he was busted by the tender look on Justin's face. "Let's go to bed Justin," Brian stated simply as he pulled Justin up from the couch, kissing him fully on the mouth.

Brian lay contentedly in Justin's bed as Justin snuggled into his side sound asleep. The rhythm of Justin's even breathing pulled him under and he didn't wake until Molly barged into the room demanding that they get up.


	16. Chapter 16

**Life Altering!**

**Chapter Sixteen**

* * *

Brian lazed in bed as Justin rushed around the room getting ready after he sent Molly downstairs with Gracin. His mind was twirling over the fact that last night he slept next to Justin and found more pleasure waking next to the blond than in all the nameless tricks that he'd had in the past year. Talk about an early morning mindfuck. That single realization shook Brian's previously held beliefs, which were already fracturing.

"Are you going to lounge in bed all day... or are you going to join us for a breakfast?" Justin asked teasingly, yet Brian could tell that Justin was hiding behind humor.

Brian knew Justin had noticed that he had crawled inside of his head while he over-analyzed yesterday. He could easily tell by the way Justin held himself that the younger man expected him to balk at the thought of spending Christmas morning with him.

Last night's thoughts rushed back to him and the empty loft waiting for him. He shook his head when he reminded himself that all the old shit didn't matter. He was determined to start over with Justin.

"Breakfast sounds nice, more protein than carbs," Brian requested with a suggestive smile.

"Gotcha," Justin said, casting a flirtatious smile over his shoulder before he closed the bedroom door behind him.

"What the hell is that old saying …Slow and steady wins the race!" Brian muttered quietly to himself as he pulled his grey sweater off the dresser. He knew that he could have Justin back in his bed by the end of the night, but things would snowball afterwards and possibly destroy the chance of reuniting

Brian had came to accept that he was going to have to gradually convince Justin to let him back into his life as his partner. This time he wasn't going to let his stubbornness - or Justin's - screw it up; the happiest moments he had the last few months were spent with Justin.

He ran a hand through his hair as he tried to tame it before he headed downstairs to join the Taylor trio.

"What the fuck is that?" Brian asked as soon as he spotted a platter of red and green pancakes.

"Mommy's holiday pancakes," Molly announced happily, but Brian could see the puffiness under her eyes.

"It was Mols' idea." Justin said, giving him an apologetic smile.

"I'll take a tiny one Molly," Brian said, biting back a chuckle at Justin's gobsmacked expression.

"Okey dokey!" Molly said as she flipped a pancake.

Justin slipped behind Brian, pulled him into a hug and whispered in his ear so not to be overheard. "Mols is having a rough morning. She misses Mom and is scared that we're forgetting her."

"Ah," Brian muttered kissing Justin's temple. "So what can I do?"

"Bri, you can make the juice." Molly ordered cutely, not taking her eyes off the rising pancake. "And Justin is supposed to be making bacon, not mooching on you," Molly teased bossily as Justin blushed.

Brian was feeling a tad ridiculous because the only way he could describe his morning was smiley. He grinned repeatedly throughout breakfast at Molly and Justin's playful banter, and he laughed at Justin's silly antics when he opened presents with Gracin. He somehow found himself entertained with Molly's one woman fashion show as she tried on her new clothes.

* * *

"A few former clients sent me Christmas cards and a couple even included pictures of their newborns in their nurseries." Justin said handing Brian the cards. He was proud of his business, which was quickly establishing a good reputation in the maternity world.

"You designed these nurseries?" Brian asked, impressed. He knew what Justin's side work was, but he hadn't comprehended the amount of imagination, talent and hard work that was involved. No wonder Justin's business had taken off.

"Yes, my favorite has been the Dr. Seuss theme. It's pretty popular this year. There are pictures on my website." Justin watched as Brian opened his laptop and googled his website.

"I'm going to go get ready for Deb's," Justin said as he gave Brian a quick kiss on the lips. He picked up Gracin and instructed Molly to get ready.

"You'll help me with my hair, right?" Molly asked.

Brian forced his face to remain neutral as Justin's twisted into a pained expression for a second until he nodded his agreement.

* * *

"Are you done snooping?" Justin teased as he and Gracin walked down the stairs.

"It's a nice site." Brian complimented. "I liked the fact that you separated your paintings, comic book and murals. Have you sold anything? There are at least twenty oil pieces I've never seen before."

"Since I opened the site a few weeks ago I've sold two paintings and picked up another client expecting twins."

"How do you find the time between school and Mike's?" Brian asked.

"I barely work at Mike's anymore, and do you know how much Gracin's daycare costs? A little under a grand a month." Justin said with a laugh. "I make time. We'll meet you at Deb's."

"I'll probably be there in an hour or so," Brian stated as they all filtered out of the house.

* * *

Brian sat outside of Deb's staring at the first place where he'd ever felt at home. He was re-evaluating his life and his priorities. He was weary of the family's reaction to reinventing himself, getting back with Justin and being a constant father figure in his son's life. He was no longer interested in being the asshole in the family. Deciding that it wasn't anyone's fucking business, he headed inside.

Brian stepped into Debbie's house and he was immediately bombarded with a round of, "Merry Christmas!" from everyone. He gave Deb and Vic their customary hugs and scooped Gus off of Justin's shoulders.

"Sonny-boy," Brian greeted as he lightly tossed the child playfully into the air. He didn't get a second to ask what Santa had brought him before Melanie chewed into him, taking Gus from his arms.

"Jesus Brian be fucking careful, he could get hurt." Melanie scowled overprotectively as Gus looked at him with sad eyes.

Brian watched as Justin narrowed his eyes and picked up the confused toddler. "Gus-in Daddy playing like you and Mommy do."

"Melanie, I've seen you play rough with Gus, so back off." Justin defended, knowing Brian would never stand up for himself, and especially now that Mel was trying to guilt him into thinking he could have hurt his child. "I've thrown Gus a hell of a lot higher on a trampoline in your presence and you've never said a word."

"Merry Christmas Justin," Brian said, acting like the incident never happened. Justin caught the meaning behind the greeting. The gang wasn't to know of this morning.

"Ditto, Did you have a good morning?" Justin asked playing along.

"Surprisingly decent," Brian said with a smirk.

Christmas evening at Deb's went surprisingly well, without any more hiccups.

No one but Justin took note of Brian's lack of complaints about the commercial holiday. Justin knew that because of Gus, Brian had a reason now to celebrate and enjoy the holiday. What he didn't realize was that part of Brian's relaxed attitude was due to being able to be with all his boys at once.


	17. Chapter 17

**Life Altering!**

**Chapter Seventeen**

* * *

The changes in Justin and Brian's lives were happening slowly enough that every step seemed natural to them. Six months later and they had fallen into a familiar routine of date nights, family nights and nights spent apart. The nights apart always were harder on Brian. Even though he enjoyed going to Babylon and Woody's with the gang they were slowly losing their appeal at an alarming rate.

Brian grew to like date night which was scheduled for every other Friday. Brian realized that Justin had to arrange a sitter and adjust his schedule, but damn did he smile when Brian would arrive dressed to the nines. Not that Brian would ever admit to anyone, especially Justin, but he chased after that smile of Justin's.

Convincing Justin to go on that first date had been harder than Brian anticipated but he had pulled it off in true Kinney fashion. A little trickery, a plan without flaw and Grandma Deb were all it took to get Justin to himself for an evening. The first few dates were rocky as they both adjusted to the changes in their relationship.

Justin still wasn't quite over his shock when Brian suggested that they make it a regular thing. Some date nights were spent at the loft fucking in every possible position, others included dinner, some were trips to the theater to see R rated films. At least twice they spent date night at Babylon with the gang, not that their group of friends knew that it was a date. No one ever questioned the two when they left together hand in hand.

But tonight wasn't a date night; no, tonight was a scheduled night apart right after a two day business trip to Chicago. Brian grew bored with Babylon at around one and returned to the loft, where he promptly crawled into bed. After an hour of tossing and turning his phone buzzed on the night stand.

"Hello" Brian answered groggily.

"Did I wake you?" Justin asked, slightly frantic. Brian could barely hear him over the screaming baby in the background.

"No, I'm awake. What's wrong?" Brian asked as his heart sped up in panic.

"He refuses to go to sleep," Justin said wearily, "Could you come over...please." He was unsure if he should ask but exhaustion and a desperate need for sleep won out over his stubbornness.

"Sure." Brian said already out of bed and pulling his pants on. "I'll be there in fifteen."

Brian didn't bother with knocking. He placed his key in the lock and entered the house quietly, to be welcomed by the loud screams of an eleven month old boy.

Justin smiled tiredly as soon as he noticed Brian in the doorway of the nursery.

"BOO...BOO...BOO"" Gracin screamed at the top of his lungs, in the middle of a major tantrum.

"Gracin Matthew...Gracin," Brian said stepping into the room, calling out to the screaming boy  
who stopped and whipped his tiny head in Brian's direction before before lifting his hands towards him and squealing "BOO!"

Brian kissed Justin on the temple before taking the boy from his arms.

"Sounds like you've been a naughty little guy while Boo was gone."

Justin snickered at Brian as he referred to himself as Boo, a nickname that Gracin had dubbed him with two months earlier. "I've got this Justin, go to bed," Brian said as he and Gracin pushed the tired twenty year old out of the room.

Justin climbed into bed and listened to Brian read to Gracin through the baby monitor. "I'll make you a deal Gracin. One story in trade for a good night's sleep...Goodnight room. Goodnight moon. Goodnight cow jumping over the moon. Goodnight light, and the red balloon..."

Justin snapped awake when he felt the bed deepen and Brian's arms wrap around him. "I'm sorry." He whispered as he rolled over and eased his body around Brian's. "I know you didn't sign on for this, he just hasn't slept much the last few days and he wouldn't stop screaming for you tonight. I probably shouldn't have caved, I think he just got used to your routine with him." Justin muttered exhausted, as he lifted his head and looked into Brian's hazel eyes, unsure what to do.

Brian's brow creased at Justin's words. He knew Gracin had gotten into the routine of letting Brian put him to bed. Bedtime had become their thing when Brian was over. He and Justin thought it was funny that Gracin wanted Brian to put him to bed though he wouldn't let anyone but Justin take care of him in the middle of the night or in the morning.

"It's fine Justin," Brian said. "How about I make sure I'm here every night for bedtime until he grows out of this phase."

"You'd do that?" Justin asked gobsmacked.

"Yes" Brian said ignoring Justin's shock. "Go to sleep Justin, your little monster will be awake in seven hours max."

"K...love you" Justin mumbled half asleep.

As soon as Justin's breathing was even and steady and Brian knew he was in a deep sleep he whispered to the sleeping man. "I love you too."


	18. Chapter 18

**Life Altering!**

**Chapter Eighteen**

* * *

Brian had been unofficially living with Justin for a few months now. A few weeks ago he traded in his "baby," his jeep, for a top of the line luxury Escalade. Heading out of Ryder's ad agency he caught an earful of the office's newest hot gossip.

"Oh Martha get over it. Brian Kinney is officially off the market," an older woman said, gently patting the younger girl on the back.

"Shame. How do you know?" Martha asked curiously.

"Mr Ryder's assistant Timothy overheard Mr. Ryder talking with his wife about how his top ad man Kinney had been coming to work in a 'family man' vehicle. Mr. Ryder even had Timothy snooped it out - apparently there are two carseats in the back."

Brian felt his jaw click in anger as his phone buzzed signaling a text from Mikey. "Woody's?"

"In twenty," Brian replied tossing his briefcase in the back, intentionally forgetting that tonight was a 'date night.' He turned his phone off.

Justin sat in the living room with a cranky Gracin on his lap. Hours had passed since Brian was supposed to pick him up for their date night. He had given up an hour ago when he called Debbie and told her that he was no longer in need of a sitter, and that Gracin was under the weather and they were going to just stay home.

"Buddy you're burning up," Justin said, holding his raspy brother in his arms. Worry and concern for his brother made him forget his frustration towards Brian. "Let's take your tempy.."

"102.7" Justin sighed, his brow creased with worry. "Let's have some Ibuprofen and see if it goes down."

"Open...Gracin... Open" Justin said while the one year old shook his head negatively and locked his jaw shut. After a few more minutes of struggling he finally managed to get Gracin to take the medication which took two tries since the first dose was spit in Justin's face. Justin swore under his breath while he wiped the medicine off his face. His cell rang at a quarter past eleven. "That better be Brian."

"Boo," Gracin cried excitedly.

Justin reached for his phone, smiling as he answered. "Justin."

"Molly," Justin said startled as he picked up Gracin.

"I know it's date night and... and, but could you come get me?" Molly whispered into the phone. as Justin's ear picked up the screaming in the background.

"Of course. Pack an overnight bag and we'll be there in fifteen." Justin said already picking up the car keys.

Justin quickly dressed and put a hoodie on Gracin. They headed out to his new-yet-used grey Suburban, which had enough room for Molly, Gus and Gracin and could hold all of his art and business equipment as well. The drive over to Craig's was uneventful and Gracin finally crashed within five minutes.

"Of all the nights Brian decided to go AWOL," Justin thought bitterly with a grim smile as he stepped out of the vehicle. Leaving the sleeping boy be, he walked to the front porch.

Justin swore lightly when the screaming fight reached his ears. He knocked loudly and waited.

"What?" Craig screamed, as he opened the door.

"Molly," Justin called, pushing past his father into the house.

"Justin...what the hell?" Craig sputtered. Justin took in the crying woman with the angry expression standing in the living room with her hands on her hips.

"Justin." Molly squealed running down the staircase with her huge suitcase bumping loudly behind her, only stopping when she reached her big brother's side.

"Molly, go get in the car," Justin ordered hotly, seeing the bruise on her cheek. Justin waited until he heard the Suburban's door shut before opening his mouth. "You raised your hand to her." Justin hissed, stepping into Craig's personal space.

"No," Craig snapped.

"The handprint on her cheek says otherwise," Justin whispered harshly, his blue eyes flashing with his rising anger.

"She was being a mouthy little bitch," the woman said defensively.

"I don't care if she told you to eat shit and die, you don't touch my sister," Justin replied crudely.

"Justin," Craig said appalled.

"Is she living here?"

"Yes we're getting married next month."

"What, is she pregnant?" Justin joked darkly.

"Yes," the woman said.

"Well congratulations," Justin drawled sarcastically. Turning around to leave noticed the filthy mess.

"Look at this place, it's fucking disgusting." Justin said, throwing his hands out, motioning to the mess. "Get your shit together Craig or you'll never see her again."

"If you think you do so much better then you fucking keep her," Craig said, angry at being confronted by his oldest child.

"Fine, you'll be hearing from my lawyer," Justin said assertively, stepping out of the house. He caught Craig's startled expression as he closed the door behind him.

Justin let out a shaky breath and stood on the porch for moment trying to wrap his brain around what had just transpired. "Oh, Mom," Justin whispered to the sky sadly before driving his sibling home in the middle of the night.

* * *

Brian enjoyed his time out with his friends for awhile. He listened to Mikey talk excitedly about his newest comic book. He'd bought it with the last of his funds from the Rage comic. "Do you think Justin would work on it with me again?"

"I don't know," Brian said. "He's a busy man," he added guiltily.

"Man?" Michael scoffed. "He's a boy compared to us."

"No, maybe a ManBoy," Ted laughed.

"No," Brian said shaking his head negatively. "Compared to us he's a fucking adult."

"He's definitely the maturest of the gang," Emmett said as he stole a drink from Ted. "He needs a night out at Babylon. Between parenting, managing his own booming business and college that boy works himself too hard. He needs a night off, I sure do miss watching his cute bubble butt dance."

"Alright I'm out," Brian said. He laid a bill on the table and departed from the bar at half past midnight.

"It's not even late yet Brian. I told Ben I'd be home by three," Michael whined after him.

"Mikey go play...I had a long day and am ready to hit the sheets," Brian said.

"You didn't even trick," Mikey complained.

"People change Mikey," Brian said tapping Michael's cheek affectionately, then kissing him on the mouth lightly before leaving the confused man behind.

Brian sat in the Escalade internally debating with himself before putting the small SUV in drive. He drove to the loft slowly and pulled up to the parking garage, then he turned the SUV around and headed to Justin's.

Brian parked in Justin's driveway in his customary spot. He wasn't sure how long he sat there staring at the porch light that he knew Justin left on for him. At some point he caught sight of Justin carrying a load of laundry to the laundry room.

He entered the house quietly and made his way to the laundry room. "Justin."

He watched as Justin clashed within himself before saying, "Where have you been?" He almost flinched and Justin regretted the question immediately after asking it.

"Woody's."

"I see," Justin said distantly, continuing on with his chore.

"Justin."

"Don't Brian," Justin said, cutting him off. He slammed the washing machine lid closed.

"I had a bad day. Then I heard some unsettling gossip as I left work about me, and the sight of the carseat. Then Michael invited me out for a drink and I accepted to prove everyone wrong but in fact my action just proved I was the wrong one. I balked at everyone knowing about us." Brian explained, having accepted what he told Michael, that people change, as the simple truth. "I can't pretend to be two different people anymore."

"And who are you?" Justin asked but Brian could tell he was expecting to be pushed off Mount Kinney.

"I'm Dada, Boo, Bri and your partner and most importantly I'm Brriaaan," Brian said stepping into Justin's body space as he wrapped his arms around the younger man, mimicking the way Justin moaned Brian's name. "And it shouldn't have taken blowing you off tonight to realize that."

Justin nodded, accepting Brian's words, and kissed him gently in forgiveness.

"Molly here?" Brian questioned.

"Yes, and Gracin is ill," Justin said stiffly, then explained furiously "Craig, or his knocked-up bitch, slapped her."

"He hit her?" Brian asked darkly. He headed up the stairs, not waiting for a reply as he took them two at a time. He entered her room quietly and peered down at the sleeping girl whose cheek was indeed bruised from a slap. Kissing her forehead lightly he covered her up, checking in on Gracin before making his way downstairs.

"Brian," Justin called quietly as the man fumed silently in the kitchen. "I called him on his deplorable behavior and told him to straighten up or he'd never see her again. He told me and I quote 'If you think you do so much better then you fucking keep her.' So I told him he'd be hearing from my lawyer."

"Good," Brian snapped, slamming his hand into the table before reaching for the offered beer. "I want to beat the holy hell out of him, but instead I'll hook you up with the best family court lawyer I can find."

"I know you didn't sign up for any of this."

"Neither did you but we'll get through it together." Brian stated firmly, cutting off Justin, knowing the younger man tried to give him an out. "Now let's go to bed to fuck the night away."

"Not all night. We'll need our sleep, remember you promised Gus one last trip to the Zoo before it gets too cold." Justin whispered hotly into Brian's mouth.


	19. Chapter 19

**Life Altering!**

**Chapter Nineteen**

* * *

It had been three weeks since the night Brian admitted to Justin that he was tired of tying to both who everyone wanted and expected him to be and who he wanted to be. Once he had accepted the roles that were most important to him he found a inner peace and was able to enjoy life a bit more. He smiled like an idiot while he watched Justin's ass bounce and sway as he bustled around the room prepping to leave for the monthly dinner at Deb's.

"Mollusk you've got thirty minutes" Justin hollered up the stairs while sorting out both Gus's and Gracin's diaper bags.

"Dada...Boo...Dada...Boo" The boys chanted as they ran into the room to escape from Justin. "Help Dada" Gus sang as he tugged Gracin along with him.

The sound of Justin's laughter warmed him as Brian lifted both boys in his arms. "Help with what?" Brian asked raising an eyebrow at Gus.

"Hides us...now" Gus giggled.

"Why?"

"No baths" Gus laughed shaking his head as Gracin mimicked the older boys action.

"Oh okay but when Justin finds us its bath time, deal?" Brian said loudly enough for Justin to hear as he carried the boys up the stairs to master bedroom. "Under the covers boys, quickly now."

Justin shook his head at the lump of boys quietly giggling in the bed. "I can't find those guys anywhere, I'm going to have to get Molly on the case."

The sound of the boys glee grew and grew as Molly and Justin went on and on looking in the silliest places.

"Well they're not in any of the dresser drawers" Molly said playfully.

"Or under the bed...wait did you hear that?" Justin asked. "Sounds like little monsters."

"Justin" Molly faked a gasp "the little monsters are under the covers. Do you think they are scary monsters?"

"Oh no, these are silly little monsters, we must tickle them." Justin said launching himself carefully onto the bed to start his attack.

"Stop Gustin" Gus squealed, popping his head out from under the covers his cheeks pink with excitement. "We not monsters."

"You're not?" Justin said, scooping him up. Brian emerged with Gracin in his arms.

"No silly" Gus said admittedly.

"Bathtime." Justin said handing Gus back to Brian."Since you complied with their little stunt you get to bathe them."

"But Justin I don't know how." Brian teased, playfully batting his eyelashes.

"Dada no tell stories" Gus said sternly shaking his finger at Brian like he was naughty.

"Yeah Brian be a good boy." Justin scowled jokingly.

"Goo' boy" Gracin cried from Brian's lap patting his head indicating that he was a 'good boy too'.

"Bath now" Justin ordered taking a second to wonder how they ever got anywhere on time.

"You heard the bossman... march boys" Brian said leading them into the bathroom.

Justin pulled off his dirty tee and tried not worry about everything in his few minutes of alone time. They had taken Molly to the doctor the morning after her assault to get her injury documented. It turned out that it had been Craig's girlfriend who slapped her. Before dropping her off at school Brian applied make up expertly to the bruise to make it almost invisible.

The meeting with the family attorney had taken four hours and Brian made it very clear that money was not an issue. Once that was established the lawyer then teamed up with two other members of his practice. They came up with a list of conditions that Justin needed to provide proof of to show the court. He needed to prove that he was indeed a better fit guardian for Molly.

Most of the things were already done such as a stable income, housing room and Molly happiness. The lawyers pointed out that Brian wealth held no value in this court case since he was technically a live in boyfriend and that relationship status would most likely be frowned upon.

Brian refused to think of moving back to the loft. He had moved in with Justin during Gracin's night time battle stage where the little tyke wouldn't go to sleep without Brian. Yes, the cozy three bedroom two bath house in suburbia was not his style but that didn't mean he couldn't see the upside. The backyard after a summer of weekend remodeling was fabulous. So instead of moving out Brian laid out legally binding partnership papers for Justin to sign and file at the court-house. No there weren't any grand gestures just a single sticky note that read 'Fill these out and drop them at the courthouse. - B'

Justin pulled his clean clothes on shaking the worry away for now. He and Brian had met every condition. They had a very nice income together, Molly had her own personal space, she getting three healthy meals a day, always had clean clothes for school, her grades had shot back up. Yes they were as prepared as they could be. There wasnt much more they could do until their court appearance.

"Get your bubble butt moving Sunshine." Brian called from downstairs.

* * *

"Okay load up" Justin ordered as he stepped off the staircase and grabbed his keys from the bookcase.

"I'll drive" Brian said taking the keys from Justin who was a mix between flabbergasted and gobsmacked. They had never gone to Debbie's together after they reconciled in an effort to keep their relationship under the radar.

The drive might have been only fifteen minutes but four songs from the Kids Place Live radio station had Brian wondering how to change Gus interest in music without his mothers coming after his prized goods.

Brian turned the engine off and swung around his seats and jokingly said " United front troops or they'll eat us alive." Molly and Justin snorted in amusement.

* * *

It was noted by each member of the family when they stepped into Deb's house together. Gracin in Brian's arms and Gus riding piggy back on Justin. Lindsay and Mel were the only ones who knew Brian was carrying Gus diaper bag and Justin had Gracin's. That sent Lindsay to the window to snoop and see if they'd come together in the same vehicle.

Arriving together seemed to put the pieces in place for most of the gang to realize that they were indeed together.

Dinner went smoothly; no one questioned. It wasn't until Brian started clearing the table and followed Justin into the kitchen that they started gossiping.

"So they're together again?" Debbie asked as everyone tried to remove the shock from their faces.

"Looks like it" Ted said peeling his eyes away from the doorway to the kitchen.

"Wonder how long it will last?" Michael asked concerned for Brian.

"A few months max" Melanie scoffed.

"Mel don't be so critical. He's been a real stand up father for the last past year. I believe they're more serious than we know." Lindsay said while her mind spun as she thought of past conversations she had with Gus. "He's even pushed for a weekend visitation schedule."

"I didn't know that." Michael cried frustrated.

"I'm not required to tell you everything and I did mention that I spend two weekends a month with Gus." Brian said stepping back into the dining room.

"But Brian..." Michael whined.

Brian cut him off before he could continue. "I told you before people change Michael."

"You don't, not for anybody" Michael denied stubbornly casting a nasty look towards Justin.

Justin sighed quietly letting Brian fight his own battles. "That's right Michael I didn't change for anyone but myself. I grew up and realized some roles in my life aren't as important as others."

"Don't Michael" Ben whispered to his partner, trying to calm him down so he could think rationally.

"What's this about visitation Brian you signed away your rights" Debbie scowled assuming the worst.

"I signed them away yes but with a verbal agreement with Lindsay that she wouldn't keep me out of his life. Gus enjoys his weekends with us. The schedule I proposed wasn't out of hand. If you all must know I requested and received two long weekends and they are from Friday to Monday morning. I very recently requested additional weekends Saturday to Sunday afternoon. The munchers' relationship has improved leaps and bounds now that they get a break. I found myself missing Gus and I just wanted a little more time. Not that's it any of your business." Brian defended.

"Dada...Ace is up" Gus said running into the room. Brian smiled at the nickname Gus had dubbed Gracin with 'Ace'. "Mollusk said...said... he is stinky"

"Okay but it's Justin's turn." Brian said.

"Nope yous lost yous on diaper duty." Gus said firmly not missing a beat.

"Is that so?" Brian asked mischievously easily forgetting the audience watching them.

"Yes yous be 'good boy'" Gus said as Brian grinned.

"Well we better get on with it." Brian said scooping Gus up and placing him on his shoulders.

* * *

"How long have you two been together?" Emmett asked noisily. He was over the moon for his young friend.

"Awhile but we've been figuring it out a week at a time." Justin explained. "We started out as friends and moved forward as it felt natural."

"That's great honey, it's good to see you both happy" Lindsay said knowing that Brian's new improved outlook was in part thanks to Justin.

"Just becareful Justin," Melanie warned, never one too have faith in Brian.

Justin refrained from rolling his eyes and nodded politely, annoyed with Melanie and how she treated Brian.

"Justin, is Brian the one who you go out with every other Friday?" Debbie asked wondering if he was repeating his Ethan mistake.

"Yes since the very first Grandma and Gracin play date." Justin explained while Debbie nodded stunned. Brian entered the room tossing the diaper bag at Justin, signaling that it was time to head home. "We'd better get going tomorrow's a school day and I also have a room for the Nelson's to complete."

"Later" Brian said nodding to the group before handing Gus over to Lindsay "and I'll see you Sonny Boy on Wednesday for lunch. Same time as always Wendy."

"Okie dokey Dada" Gus said.

"As always?" Melanie questioned sharply.

Lindsay glared and hissed "Yes, always. For the past few months Brian's been taking Gus to lunch on Wednesday when he's in town and you'd know this if you paid attention to your son when he's speaking to you."

* * *

Brian lead Justin out to the back yard after they had put Gracin to bed and said goodnight to Molly.

"What are you doing?" Justin asked quietly.

"I'm going to fuck you in the pool" Brian whispered "I've been a very good boy."


	20. Chapter 20

**Life Altering!**

**Chapter Twenty**

* * *

Molly sat between Brian and Justin on the left side of the empty courtroom while the judge and two lawyers spoke briefly. She smiled anxiously at her father while the grownups talked around her. It hadn't been one of those epic drama fueled custody battles. Mostly it had been talks between lawyers while Justin and Craig came to a custodial agreement.

"Molly Taylor is now in the primary custody of Justin Taylor and Brian Kinney. She will spend the first weekend of every month with Craig Taylor. Furthermore, she is required to spend the Easter holiday with him, consisting of four days from Friday through Monday. Molly is permitted to leave the state with Craig Taylor provided there is written notice one month prior to the holiday." The judge read the agreement keeping his face blank. It wasn't often that he saw a case like this one. "Is that correct?" he asked looking over his spectacles, smiling lightly at Molly as she wrung her hands worriedly.

"Yes Your Honor," both lawyers spoke simultaneously.

"Very well," The judge said quietly and signed off on the agreement.

"Thank you," Justin and Brian said to the judge and their lawyers.

"I'll be right back Justin," Molly said, letting go of Brian's hand.

"Daddy wait," Molly called, rushing across the courtroom after her father.

"Mols," He said, confused and surprised when she hugged him tightly.

"I love you Dad," she said softly, stepping back.

"I love you too Mols, I'm just not good at it," he said gruffly, shaking his head.

"I know Dad, Justin and Brian will keep me on the up-and-up and they take real good care of me." Molly said. "You'll call Justin and me when Christy has her baby righhhtt?" she dragged out the last word a little uncertainly.

"I'll call," he promised with a nod.

"Okay good. Bye Dad," she said letting him leave.

"You okay kiddo?" Brian asked quietly, giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze.

Molly nodded with a wobbly chin, "I'm a little sad."

Brian didn't say a word, just opened his arms, wrapping her in a hug. "You know how Justin has had us slaving over fixing up the basement?"

"Uh huh," Molly said with a smile. Only Brian would think that giving up a Saturday to make sure the_ 'hot'_ carpenters actually worked and another one to paint the basement was slave labor. The man actually whined when he got paint under his nails.

"And how you and Justin drove all over town going to second hand stores looking for furniture?" Brian asked quietly, not wanting to be overheard by Justin who was still talking with the lawyers.

"Yeah because you, Prince Brian, won't step foot into a consignment store. SO?" Molly asked.

"Well now that the guestroom and bathroom have been remodeled and the family office slash boys' playroom is finished, we're going to be able to finally put the guestroom to use. Daphne's coming home for a few weeks before returning to school."

"Does Justin know?" Molly asked, a wide excited smile spreading across her face.

"No it's a surprise, so when we go pick up Gus today we'll also pick up Daphne," Brain said smoothly, giving her a wink.

"Sweeet."

"And we have reservations at Tony's tonight," Brian added, icing her cake even sweeter with plans to go to her favorite Italian restaurant.

"NOOO WAYY," Molly gushed.

"I can see someone spilled the beans about going to Tony's," Justin teased, rejoining his sister and partner.

"So what's the plan for today?" Molly asked as she buckled up in Brian's luxury Escalade.

"I have to finish a nursery for the Wyatt family and squeeze in an hour to talk with Michael about the next Rage issue before picking up Gracin from NannyCare." Justin rattled off his list.

"I have the next three or four days off," Brian said with a slight frown. Working for Ryder and making partner had all been great experiences but lately he'd felt caged-in creatively, under-appreciated and overworked.

"Molly, headphones," Justin said ignoring her eye-roll as she slipped on her headphones. "Why? You haven't taken a day off for a real vacation in years. Are you going somewhere?" Justin asked worriedly, wondering what was going on in Brian's mind.

"Ryder and I butted heads this morning about taking off for this, so I ended up taking off today and maybe Monday too. Ryder and Vance are sinking the company; they have made bad decisions after bad choice, financially and creatively. We're losing clients right and left. I find myself working more and more to clean up their messes." Brian explained.

"Maybe you're butting heads because you've grown as much as you can with Ryder's agency," Justin said softly, playing with Brian's hand.

"Vance wants me to take on Jim Stockwell's campaign. He's a conservative, anti-gay asshole." Brian said raking a hand through his hair in frustration.

"Are you going to do it?" Justin asked, closing the car door.

"I don't have much choice Justin," Brian said wearily.

"Jim Stockwell's crusade for Christian family values and his propaganda about our community has not only increased verbal harassment but physical assaults on our gay population as well," Justin hissed, his blue eyes flashing with his disgust for Stockwell, surprising Brian at how informed he was.

"I'm not worrying about it until Monday," Brian said, flicking his eyes toward Molly. "Molly and I have some shopping to do before we pick up Gus." Brain leaned forward and kissed Justin soundly on the lips ignoring Molly's fake gagging noises. "Have a good day Sunshine."

"You too Brian," Justin murmured against his mouth.

* * *

"Sunshine we're home," Brian called as they entered the home. Daphne snickered, feeling like she had stepped through a twilight zone.

"Who's with you?" Justin called teasingly, rounding the corner with Gracin on his hip, expecting to see Gus.

"Surprise!" Daphne laughed, setting her luggage down.

"I'd say," Justin said, handing Gracin off to Brian before throwing his arms around his best friend since infanthood.

"I'll put the boys in the baby prison while I get dressed." Brian said teasingly, interrupting the reunion.

Daphne waited for Brian to leave the room after placing both boys in the large playpen. "Oh my god Justin it's like, I can't believe how settled you two are. It's kind of scary. You've got this whole adult grownup thing down and I'm still, you know, transitioning."

"You'll get here or there or whatever sweetie. I'm jealous honest, be young, single and free." Justin said sipping his small glass of wine. "Want to see Brian's proposal?" Justin asked raising an amused eyebrow, knowing his words would shock his friend. "Wait, you're engaged?" Daphne sputtered.

"Legal Partners," Justin smirked, tapping his bracelet.

"Holy Shit," Daphne swore, clasping a hand over her mouth.

"No one knows so hush, we did it mostly because it looked favorable to the court," Justin explained. "Brain never would want a ceremony or rings but he did indulge me with matching bracelets. Don't congratulate him, he gets prissy," Justin ended with a snicker and his sunshine smile, letting her know just how happy he was even after the long two years he'd had.

"Brian prissy no wayyy," Daphne giggled.

"Molly you have twenty minutes," Brian's voice drifted over them.

"Butttt Brriann," Molly whined.

"No buts, twenty minutes and no makeup, you're twelve not fifteen," Brian said firmly.

* * *

"Your table is this way. Do you need two highchairs?" The host asked sweetly, making eyes at Daphne.

"A booster and a highchair," Brian responded, wiggling an eyebrow over the hosts shoulder at Daphne, causing her to blush.

"He's gorgeous for a straight guy Daphne," Justin pitched in, earning himself a slap on the ass from Brian. "It's true," Justin teased fondly, loving how Brian's eyes narrowed playfully.

"You two are like sooo gross sometimes!" Molly sassed, helping Gus into his booster.

"You know what's really gross? Greasy grimy gofer guts.." Brian sang, embarrassing Molly just a little more but making her smile at the same time as she hissed for him to "Stop."

Daphne ended up getting caught up with all she had missed while she'd been gone. The food was excellent. Everything was going well until Brian's eyes narrowed and his laughter stopped as he caught sight of his mother and sister.

"Un-fucking-believable," Brian swore as Debbie, Carl, Ben and Michael waved from across the restaurant.

"It's Debbie and Carl's anniversary," Justin said, squeezing Brian's hand.

"No not that, it's Joan and Claire, I didn't realize my sister was even in town." Brian whispered, his words clipped.

"Who?" Daphne asked, wrinkling her eyebrows in confusion at the sudden turn of emotions.

"Brian's mother and sister," Justin said simply with a wince.

"Boo cup Boo cup Boo cup," Gracin chanted from his highchair, distracting everyone.

"Ace wants tippy cup," Gus declared with a serious nod, making the adults chuckle.

The conversation started over as they made an effort to ignore some of the company around them.

"Hey Brian, can I chat with Rachel when we get home?" Molly asked eagerly.

"Until ten no later and only if it's okay with Justin; I don't remember if you're grounded or not." Brian responded, clutching Gus's hand as they made their way to the parking lot. Brian could hear Molly asking Justin.

"Brrriiaan" Joan wailed, spotting him.

"Fuck," Brian swore, rubbing a hand over his face.

Justin turned and raised a questioning eyebrow at him, wondering what he was supposed to do. "Take Gus," Brian mouthed letting go of the toddler's hand. Gus reached for Justin who was motioning for him.

"Brian how are you?" Joan asked as Claire stood next to her condescendingly.

"Fine Mother," Brian said with no emotion.

"Who was that little boy whose hand you were holding?" Joan asked curiously.

Brian stiffened and locked eyes with Justin. "Which one?" he asked, smirking at Justin's snort.

"The toddler of course," Claire said sourly.

"Gus. He's my son," Brian answered, his gut twisting, not wanting those vile creatures anywhere near his family.

Joanie's eyes grew wide in shock as she glanced around him to the little boy holding the blond man's hand. "Your son?" she spat angrily, "and you didn't think to tell your mother she was a grandmother?"

"You're not a grandmother to my children and you never will be," Brian said sternly, his eyes flashing in warning.

"Children?" Claire inquired.

"It's none of your concern," Brian snapped.

Joan bristled at his tone. "I think I have the right to know."

"No you don't. I don't want you anywhere near them."

"What happened to his mother?" Joan asked.

"His mothers, as in two mothers, have him during the week. My partner Justin and I have Gus on the weekend." Brian said.

"Brian let's go," Justin called, giving the older man an out.

"You'll burn in hell Brian for these sins you're committing," Joan said sourly, her eyes watering.

"Then I'll burn with you," he spat back, moving quickly to his family.

* * *

Brian breathlessly collapsed next to Justin, totally spent.

"What did you mean I've outgrown Ryder?" Brian asked, knowing what Justin meant but wanting to hear it voiced.

"I think you should start your own agency, I don't think you'll be happy until you're your own boss." Justin said tiredly.

"I'd have to find affordable space, employees, clients," Brian rambled off just a few of the things he'd have to do.

"The whole floor below your loft is for rent and I know you own the entire floor your loft is on." Justin said sleepily with a yawn. "Kinnetik" Justin murmured. "Kinnetik," Brian rolled the name off his lips, letting the idea take root in his brain as he glanced down at a sleeping partner.


	21. Chapter 21

**Life Altering**

**Chapter Twenty-One**

* * *

"So whatcha think?" Molly asked, biting her lip nervously after presenting her history presentation to Brian "I think your facts are spot on," Brian said with a frown.

"Is it 'A' worthy?" Molly asked, flopping down on the sofa. "No," Brian said firmly. "This presentation, which is a quarter of your grade, isn't 'just' about knowing your facts. If it were then you would have been assigned an essay."

"It's not?" Molly asked with a frown.

"No, it's a presentation; you need to sell what you know to your audience." Brian said.

"So how am I going to do that?" Molly asked as Brian took off his dress coat, placing it on the back of the couch.

"We're going to dazzle them. Your visual presentation is rather…" Brian began when Molly cut him off and finished his sentence "lame, I know."

"Then you're going to rehearse until you feel like you're rocking it," Brian said.

"Maybe even make little pamphlets that bullet the important facts, like you make for some of your clients." Molly added.

"Now you're with your 'A' game," Brian said, smiling proudly.

* * *

Justin clicked the boys' bedroom door shut after tucking them in. He made his way to the kitchen to unload the dishwasher, knowing both Molly and Brian were hunkered down in the basement working on Molly's upcoming presentation. He chuckled at how immersed Brian and Molly were in the project. He jumped in surprise at the sound of rapid, almost urgent knocking on the front door.

"Hello," Justin said, swinging the door open.

"Justin, Brian's gone, his loft is empty and it looks as if someone's remodeling it," Michael said, frantically rushing into Justin's house followed closely by Debbie, Ted, Emmett and Ben. "I know we haven't been on the same page lately but to think that he just left town and didn't tell anyone, especially me."

"Michael," Justin said with a sigh.

"No, it's an asshole move." Michael swore.

Justin took deep breath "Will you just look around, Brian hasn't gone anywhere," he said, surprising everyone as he waved his arm around the living room, which was full of Brian's furniture.

"I don't understand why you two didn't tell us." Debbie said folding her arms, hurt flickering across her face.

"Some of you haven't been the most supportive of Brian's and my relationship." Justin said. "He wanted to settle, he didn't want to doubt his choice. So this is what I'm requesting; no this is what I'm ordering. You're going to open your eyes; you're going to keep your damn opinions to yourselves. For once, do not just jump to conclusions or make assumptions. He's happy, so until you can see that and accept that, keep your traps shut. "

"To bed Mols," Brian instructed, his voice filtering up the stairs. Everyone grew quiet and listened, "you're going to rock it okay, stop worrying. Sweet dreams and we'll talk more in the morning."

"Thanks Brian," Molly said. There was a quiet pause before she added "I love you… goodnight."

"Ditto kid," he said, and everyone turned surprised eyes to Justin who shrugged and left the room to warn Brian of the upcoming interrogation.

"Hey Sunshine, Mols is going to nail that project. You've got to see the pamphlets she made," Brian said, climbing the stairs. "Did the boys go down without a fight or do we need to strategize and come up with a better battle plan?"

"Brian we have company," Justin said, meeting him at the door with a double scotch before he faced his overbearing family.

"But I wanted to f-u-c-k," Brian whined teasingly, spelling the words as if the toddler were present.

"Me too, but I don't think they're going to leave without an explanation," Justin said with a resigned sigh.

Brian's eyes narrowed, "Oh no, hell no. I don't have to explain my actions to anyone."

"Brian," Justin said cautiously. "You need to tell them, open up to them a little. They do love you. No matter how unconventional it might be we're family, all of us."

"You moved in with Justin?" Michael asked as soon as he spotted his best friend. "He's just a kid."

"He's my partner," Brian said firmly, surprising everyone.

"Your loft was empty, we were worried you had taken off to better places after quitting your job," Emmett said softly, a little embarrassed that he hadn't seen this coming.

"Is it wise to be supporting a kid with kids now that you're in murky waters? You told me about your financial troubles after making that public service announcement commercial thingy." Michael said, as Justin sucked in a breath.

Brian watched as Justin turned wide panicked eyes on him. Brian knew Justin wouldn't be touching that statement. He'd let Brian handle it any way he saw fit, even if it undermined everything the blond had done for him. "Justin supports himself. Fuck Michael he's supporting my ass at the moment while I try to build my own agency," Brian hissed. "We, I planned to tell everyone about my future business plans at the next family dinner. I wanted to wait until I had more things in motion."

"Why didn't you tell us you were living together?" Debbie demanded softly, more curious than angry.

Justin shrugged. It was an error on their part; they had assumed everyone knew.

"I thought it was obvious. I mean we come to every family dinner together in the same car. We spend most of our free time together. You have to know that there's more between us than just fucking regularly. You've all dropped us off together at Justin's after we've gone out. Hell you've dropped me off at Justin's after I've been drinking. I didn't think I needed to send out an announcement when it was crystal fucking clear," Brian said defensively.

Debbie smiled and pulled him into a hug. "Well congratulations asshole." She said loudly, almost crushing him as she whispered. "I'm proud of you."

"Thanks," Brian said, herding everyone to the door. "Now would you all kindly get out?"

"What happened to the loft?" Michael asked, refusing to budge. "You once said you'd never sell it."

"I didn't. I'm just changing its purpose." Brian said, squeezing his best friend's shoulder. "I'll tell you more about it. Maybe we could get together on Saturday at, say, Andy's Pizzeria. Does two o'clock sound good?"

* * *

"I can't believe Melanie and Lindsay really asked you to father their child." Brian said, wrapping his arms around Justin, pulling the younger man into him. "So what did you say?"

"I told them no of course." Justin said with a little laugh. "It's not the time for another kid. I'm selfish enough to admit that I don't want to be a part time dad. Plus there is this little repulsion I get at the notion of my sperm and Melanie's egg." Justin said, faking a shiver.

"I wonder who they'll get to agree," Brian said. Justin turned his eyes on him, raising an eyebrow. "Oh no way in hell. Could you imagine the little satanic spawn?"

"It's a frightening thought indeed." Justin said, kissing Brian on the lips.

* * *

"No Dada my favorite color is blue," Gus said, laughing at Brian's funny

face.

"I thought it was green?" Brian asked.

"That was so last weeks." Gus said channeling his Uncle Emmett, making Brian laugh.

"Okay blue, what's my next clue?" Brian asked.

"Yous like his smiles very much and yous call him sunshine." Gus said smiling widely.

"Justin?" Brian guessed with a smile.

"Yep," Gus giggled at the game they were playing. "Are we seein' Uncle Mikey?"

"That's the plan sport." Brian said, leading the little boy into the restaurant.

"Brian you won't believe what Lindsay and Mel asked of me and Ben," Michael said excitedly as they slid into one of the open booths. "They want me to father their next child. Our children would be brothers."

"Have you talked this over with Ben?" Brian asked, not surprised that the munchers turned to Michael.

Michael frowned for a moment before smiling widely. "He's not enthused yet but he'll warm up to the idea. I know he will. I want this, I do Brian."

"Then congratulations," Brian said mockingly raising his water glass.

"So what's going on with your loft?" Michael asked.

"I'm turning the top two floors into my own firm, which we're thinking of calling Kinnetic. The building is zoned for both residential and commercial," Brian said with a shrug. "How's the comic book store?"

"Great, that's great Brian." Michael said. He had taken both Ben's and Justin's advice and took a step back. Yes his best friend was changing before him but it wasn't a bad thing. He used to worry himself sick that Brian's way of life was going to end him six feet below. Ben had pointed out that he needed to reevaluate Justin because he wasn't the kid he used to be. "I have a few revisions to do and since Justin has agreed to work a little on continuing the comic with me I'll have the extra money to do them. I've also noted an increased interest in Rage, so much so that a few other comic book stores have ordered copies to sell." Michael said, practically bouncing with pride. Brian smiled, knowing that Justin had sent out free sample copies trying to expand its influence in the gay districts of cities such as New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Dallas and Chicago.

"Hard work pays well." Brian said, wiping off Gus's pizza mustache.

Michael nodded and added, "Yeah, I need to thank Justin."

"Well, Sonnyboy and I have to be going. Babylon on Tuesday?" Brian offered, placing his salad fork down.

"Sounds good, and be sure to bring your twink, Emmett misses him," Michael said affectionately.

* * *

"That was intense," Justin whispered, stepping out of the shower.

"Mmhmm," Brian mumbled. "Do you think Gracin and Gus are still sleeping?"

"Boo," Gracin hollered, making Justin chuckle.

"Apparently not," Justin laughed softly, kissing Brian's shoulder blade.

"Gus-in?" Gus called knocking on their bedroom door.

"We've got some life don't we?" Brian asked capturing Justin's lips in a meaningful kiss. Both men temporarily ignoring the soft knocking at their bedroom door.

"We do!" Justin agreed, his heart softening at Brian serene grin.

"I love you!" Brian murmured softly against Justin ear. "I wouldn't change anything if I could."

"Me either," Justin said still reeling from Brian's verbal confirmation of their love.


End file.
